Getting a Tooth Pulled? Read This. (a positive experience)

When it comes to dental work, I am a total baby. Even the thought of a cleaning make me weak in the knees. So when I was told that I needed to have a tooth extracted, I was less than happy. I got a second opinion. Same diagnosis.

I was scared.

My favorite endodontist referred me (with glowing reviews) to an oral surgeon. Swore he was the best. Friends who went to him said the same thing. I figured I'd meet him for a consultation.

This particular man was, hmmmm..., less than professional from the start. I went in, told him I was nervous about the extraction and didn't want to be put under. His response, "Your not gonna make this easy for me, are you?" Er, bad reply, doc. Rather than put me at ease, he proceeded (for 20 minutes) to try and talk me into it, saying patients that don't get knocked out have been "thrashing" and "flailing" (his words) in the chair, even "grabbing at his arms". I wondered, if he's so great, why are his patients having such a strong negative response?

He continued to try and convince me, and when I told him that I had friends who'd had extractions with just novocaine, he began asking who. "Give me names" he said. He couldn't recall the names I'd provided because he "sees so many people". Next, he said "I'm gonna break the law here and look at their files to see if they went under" and proceeded to do just that. My son was with me, and we both looked at each other, puzzled. Why did he want to knock me out so badly? He said "Yup, she had it," and so on.

In the end, I booked an appointment with him, mostly to just get out of there, and as we walked out of the office he said, "Don't eat 6 hours before, just in case you need to be knocked out." Ick.

I called my mother to tell her about my experience and her response was, "Why don't you go to Dr. Dimaira? She's great." I had had a procedure done by her once before, years ago, and it was a cake walk. So I called and scheduled the extraction. And today, my tooth was pulled. The following is a breakdown of my positive experience.

Smile. Everything is gonna be alright.

Dr. Dimaira is a calm, confident professional. I needed my molar (a big one) removed. I was nervous and expressed that, but she was very relaxed and easily calmed my fears. The novocaine that usually numbs my throat and bothers me, was super. It only numbed the area being worked on. She had nice music playing, and told me, as she went, what she was doing. I felt nothing. I knew what was going on, but was so relaxed that, rather than bracing myself for the actually pulling, I tried to imagine what was happening. My head was still (I expected shaking and pulling), and she sang while she was doing it. I didn't feel pressure or anything, but when the tooth released, I felt a gentle detachment. I can only describe it as yes. It felt accomplished.

I was so relaxed that I almost fell asleep. Before I knew it, the bone graph was done, and stitches were being put in. I watched as the string came up and went down into my mouth. It was almost hypnotic. All that worry for nothing. The whole thing was almost meditative.

Post extraction, with all the novocaine worn off, I have no pain or discomfort whatsoever. So great. I am very impressed with her.

If you are getting a tooth extracted, I highly suggest finding a calm, caring professional to do your extraction. I want you all to know that you do not need to get knocked out. Why take a medical risk for a super quick and routine procedure? It honestly was no big deal. And if you live in or near Morris County, NJ, go see Dr. Dimaira in Montville. She is the absolute best!

Get Smackalackin' Caramel Corn Tonight

While checking out the new magazine Naturally, Danny Seo, I read an article about Johnny Iuzzini and his choice to leave the restaurant business. He was tired of the grind, moved back to the Catskills, and decided that he is going to do things that feed his soul. One of those things is writing cookbooks. His second of which, Sugar Rush, has a killer recipe for a sweet and savory caramel corn. Folks, it's got chopped bacon in it. Whaaaaat?

The recipe

Now, I don't normally reach for sugar when I am snacking. I much prefer mozzarella or nachos to anything sweet. However, I've been looking for recipes for our wedding dessert table, something I can make in advance that will hold nice and be fun, and this seemed to fit the bill.

But first, I had to try it... and test it out on the family.

Important thing to note, the kosher salt (I used David's) and baking soda, help give the right texture to the caramel, so never omit it, and follow the instructions to the nose. I also used really good bacon from my local meat shop, Denville Meat Shop, and it definitely was the right choice. Don't skimp on your choice of bacon.

As I was making the recipe, I realized it was incomplete. It calls for two silpat lined baking sheets, but doesn't explain how, or when, to use them (and the photo in the magazine shows it on the silpat). The recipe just sort of ends prematurely.

I had to do a little research to find out how a caramel corn recipe is finished, and couldn't find Iuzzini's recipe online, so until my copy of Sugar Rush arrives (I desperately ordered it), I won't know for sure how he finishes the popcorn. But I can share what I did, which worked. It worked so well that the kids kept walking back to the kitchen for seconds, and thirds, and I, not normally a fan of caramel corn, was eating it by the fistful.

They didn't notice the bacon (you probably won't either), but having it in there just makes it a bit more special.

My final product, first time around.

I also didn't realize that {gasp} I was out of maple syrup (which is called for in the recipe), so I used a little extra corn syrup and that was just fine. I definitely missed the maple flavor, though, so I will be making it again, soon, to try and make it just a tad bit better. If you try it, let me know how yours turns out!

Johnny Iuzzini's Smack Caramel Corn
Source: Naturally, Danny Seo Winter 2015 magazine (from Johnny Iuzzini's Sugar Rush cookbook)

INGREDIENTS

• 8 slices bacon
• vegetable oil spray
• 1 ½ cups plain unsalted roasted peanuts
• ½ cup slivered almonds
• 1 c granulated sugar
• ¾ c (packed) dark brown sugar
• ¼ c pure maple syrup
• ¼ c light corn syrup
• 6 T (3/4 stick) unsalted butter
• 2 T kosher salt
• 1 t baking soda
• 12 c popped popcorn

Preheat oven to 200*F. Line two baking sheets with silicon baking mats or parchment paper.

In a large skillet, cook the bacon over medium heat, turning several times, for 6 – 8 minutes, until very crisp and the fat is rendered. Transfer bacon to a paper towel-lined plate to drain. Pour the bacon fat through a fine-mesh strainer into a heat proof bowl. Measure 3 T of the fat and reserve; discard the remaining fat or reserve for another use. Once the bacon has cooled, finely chop it and set it aside.

Spray a large stainless-steel bowl lightly with cooking spray, add the nuts to it, and put the bowl in the oven to warm. Spray two large spoons or rubber spatulas with cooking spray and set them aside.

I didn't have a bowl so I put them into a stainless pan and put that in the oven.

Put the granulated sugar, brown sugar, maple and corn syrups, butter, and reserved bacon fat into a saucepan and bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Swirl the pan gently to mix the ingredients but DO NOT STIR. Cook, brushing the side of the pan down with a pastry brush dipped in cold water, until the temperature on a candy thermometer reads 290*.

I did medium heat and it took about 25 minutes. Next time, I'll go hotter.

Stir together the salt and baking soda, add them to the caramel, and remove the pan from the heat. Be careful, the caramel will form up; stir it with a wooden spoon until the mixture stops foaming. Remove the bowl from the oven and add the nuts to the caramel, stirring to combine. Put the popcorn and chopped bacon into the warm bowl and pour the caramel mixture over it; using the greased spoons, toss the popcorn quickly and keep tossing for about 1 minute, until it’s very evenly coated.

Do NOT do it this way! I had clumps. Spread the popcorn out on a flat sheet,
drizzle caramel, and toss with greased (clean) hands.

(My addition, per similar recipe research.) Pour onto baking sheets and warm for thirty minutes at 200, tossing every 15 mins.

Save Our Post Office

My home post office is undergoing changes. I'm not much into politics, so I can't speak with knowledge about the inner workings of why things happen, but it seems to me like the most important American institutions are undergoing cuts and changes (police, teachers, post offices).

I am a big proponent of keeping things the same for as long as possible. I know that we are all technologically inclined (not something that I am thrilled about), but some things really should remain as they are. For example, writing. More and more, schools aren't teaching cursive writing, which, to me, is astounding. People write thank you notes and birthday wishes via text and social media. Not only is this less personal, it's less permanent.

The amazing Mountain Lakes Post Office.

While visiting my town's post office today (a friendly, efficient place where everybody knows everybody), I was informed that our carriers will now be working out of a neighboring post office, Parsippany. There will be a few people at the clerk window, but that's it. This is devastating to me. Our mail is sorted through Newark. Less and less is happening at our post office, and soon, if things don't change, it will close.

What kind of America do you want? I want one with small towns and privately owned shops. I want spaces where people feel welcome and others know them by name, creating a sense of familiarity. I don't want more Target Greatlands; I don't want more malls. I want a life with daily interactions that matter, rather than generic checkouts. I want moments to remember. I want a paper trail.

I have letters that my grandparents have written, also cards and old postcards. These things show the character of the writer. Writing style is noted, penmanship, paper choice, all give a peek into the character of the writer. Postcards sent from a specific location show where the person has travelled. Yes, we all post our photos on Instagram/facebook/twitter (whatever), but how can we save those photos to show our grandchildren? Sending mail is imperative.

Had this been an email or a text, it never would have survived.

I asked the local postmaster who I could contact to let them know how much I love our post office and to tell them that I would like it to stay the way that it is, and the postmaster said that while it was fine to try, the wheels of change were already in motion.

I will try.

Please, if you care about writing, sending letters, and maintaining an American tradition, please start walking into your local post office to mail your letters. Buy your stamps at your local P.O. by walking up to the counter and making the transaction with a person (as opposed to buying online).  Write a note, letter, or card today and send it to a friend, via the USPS. (Feel free to send me a letter: Domestic Goddess Files, PO Box 243, Mountain Lakes, NJ 07046)

And if you live in Mountain Lakes and would like to keep our post office alive and thriving, write a letter and let the district postmaster know how much our post office means to you. I know that you are busy, but taking 15 minutes out of your day to write to potentially save our post office is worth it, don't you think?

Send your letter to:
George Flood
USPS Northeast Area Communication Programs Specialist
21 Kilmer Road
Edison, NJ 08899
george.b.flood@usps.gov
732-819-3669

'Tis the Season for Saying No

The holiday season is one in which we get invited to parties, asked to volunteer at school, attend cookie swaps, and buy gifts for family, friends, co-workers (the list goes on). It's tough saying no to these sorts of festive (expected) events.

In an effort to remove stress from my life, I've decided to start saying no. (I'm not sure how yet, or to what, but it has been decided.) The seed was planted by my yoga teacher, Janice Molinari, last week, when she began our class with the practice of saying "no", something she said is uncommon in yoga (I think she said it's usually the yoga of yes) . She explained -- my translation may not be exact -- that saying no to some things of our choosing, gives us space to say yes to other, more important, soul feeding things. Saying no makes space in our life for the good things that are ahead, even if we have no idea what they are. At her workshop at Purple Om on Saturday, she spoke about reducing stress by creating healthy boundaries, one of which was getting enough sleep (there were others, but this has been particularly challenging for me). I decided that I would make a bedtime and value that boundary, regardless of what else might come up. 

The message came through again, last night, when another of my wonderful yoga teachers, Erika Sherger, spoke about aligning your outsides with your insides. She spoke of an accountant who had done yoga teacher training with her and, during training, she quit her job having realized it wasn't matching who she was anymore. This really began to resonate with me. The same message, twice, in as many weeks.

Processing this message with my friend, Tray (whom I attended these classes with, who has brought me back to yoga), she mentioned that she is making changes to her Christmas decorating schedule and shopping plan. She's taking care of herself while still getting things done; she's just doing them in a different way. To the old way, she's said no.

I am playing with where I will choose to say no, being mindful of what I'm choosing and why, and finding boundaries to support my yes choices. The task is something I've chosen not to take lightly, and will be thinking about over the coming weeks.

What might you say no to?

Only What You Love

Are you living the life you love? Are you happy/peaceful/content/excited with the pieces that compose your life? If the answer is no, some of the time, or hmm... I think so, then read on.

Staying at a beautiful hotel or visiting a fabulous restaurant with friends and loved ones brings radiant bouts of happiness. It's not because you are dining out (well, sure, in part it is), it's because you are with people who make you happy in a place that's pleasing to you. 

Every day, we make choices that define how we are going to feel. We choose where we live, work, who we live with, what to wear, and the things that surround us. All choices. And we may think we need to live, work, or wear what we do, but we can make changes. Can we just walk away from our job, or buy an entirely new wardrobe? Well, no. Not all at once. But, as my yoga teacher has said, we need to make space in our lives for what's ahead. And sometimes, that means taking an uncomfortable leap of faith.

I've been there. I stayed in a shitty, somewhat emotionally abusive and confining relationship with someone who really didn't offer me much. Yet we didn't live together, share finances, or do much that kept us bound together. I loved his family and his children, and because of that, I was terrified to let go. I was worried I'd never find love again, never have a big family. I was a 42 year old single mom, and the possibilities of meeting someone new, who had awesome kids, seemed limited. In the end, I found myself choosing my emotional and physical (the stress was literally beginning to kill me) well-being over the fear of loss, and I left. A year later, I found the love of my life, who happens to have three great kids and a wonderful extended family. I'd never have thought it possible, and now it's mine.

It's the same with anything. Jobs, homes, friendships. Most of us can't revamp our lives at the snap of a finger. Our budgets (and our hearts) don't allow. But we can slowly replace things (and release toxic friends), piece by piece. In regards to living space, begin by getting rid of what you don't absolutely love. Your space may look bare. That's okay. (I've recently done it... be warned, it's initially overwhelming.) Allow the space to remain open until you find something you really love to fill it.

I've sold lots of things, lately. Not a fan of Craigslist, I started a facebook page that is basically an online yard sale, and I've kept it local. Having it local is easy for transactions to occur, and is generally safe (we live in a pretty small, quiet area). In this group, I've sold hundreds of dollars worth of items, and bought other people's things (at a fraction of the retail value) that suit my home. Most recently, I found two vintage copper pots at a neighbor's house sale; one was used for washing clothes, the other as a garbage bin. They just happen to perfectly match the copper of my mailbox and are now holding firewood on my front porch. I couldn't have hoped for anything this perfect. Search for things that make you feel good, and when you find something that does, even one piece (even if it goes with nothing else), buy it. Designers always say that if your house is filled with things you love, the space will flow. 

Toxic friendships/relationships aren't as easy to drop. Walking away from someone you've been friends with forever, or for six months, isn't as easy as donating old clothes or selling a car. At some point though, you have to honor your spirit, despite what they may feel. If someone is draining you, making you feel bad, or using you, why keep them in your life?

Honoring who you are will make you a happier, healthier person. As I get older, I've begun to realize that life is too short to be in a place that doesn't feed your soul. Create the life you desire by starting now. Get rid of one thing, however small, that doesn't make you feel good. There you will have put into motion the change you wish to occur in your life.

A New York Minute With Kikay's Lea Faminiano

As a connoisseur of quality handmade items, I've finally found my favorite jewelry maker, a woman named Lea Faminiano. We are fortunate to be carrying some of her handmade jewelry in our shop, Domestic Living Comforts.  You'll love her jewelry and, after reading this Q&A, you'll find that she is equally wonderful.

Lea, who is currently residing and working in New York City, got her start in Mountain Lakes, NJ

Just a sampling of the fabulous jewelry that Lea designs (I happen to own the turquoise one myself).

Company Name: Kikay

Tell us a little about who you are personally: 

I'm originally from Mountain Lakes, and moved to New York a little over two years ago while I was at graduate school at Parsons. Since I can remember, I have always wanted to be an artist, and have always been involved in some sort of creative project...painting, drawing, calligraphy, graphics, animation, I love it all! Currently, I am a food and drink editor for a blog, a freelance writer/graphic designer/illustrator, and I occasionally teach art classes in NYC.

What made you decide to start your own business: 

I love jewelry, but I mostly like wearing pieces that really mean something to me. So I started making jewelry just for myself. I had a lot of free time back then, because I was between jobs, and to be honest, I couldn't afford the beautiful pieces I saw in shops, so I tried to recreate my own! My friends began asking for their own pieces and started urging me to open up an Etsy. I figured it would be a great way to make money on the side doing something I loved, and everyone has been so supportive. It's been really fun to watch Kikay grow.

What is your process for making your products?: 

I make everything at home, either in NY or NJ. I draw inspiration from everything, and I only make jewelry that I would wear, so you know I'm always 100% behind my product! It doesn't feel like work at all - most of the work that I do outside of Kikay is based around a computer, and it feels great to get away from it from time to time and do something creative with my hands. 

Do you think it's important for people to buy American handmade?: 

Yes! I'm always attracted to handmade products because I truly believe that love and care is an important element in any product.

Favorite quote: 

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."

Shop for Kikay items on our website by clicking here.

America the Imported. Buy American.

Our economy is in a very bad place. More and more, I hear people complain about how high their taxes are, how low their income is, and how we need to turn this economy around. But then, we shop at places with rock bottom prices like WalMart and buy things that are made in other countries.

For me, WalMart is a great place to buy window cleaner, movies, things like that. Living in this country, with our crapped out economy, it makes sense to save money buying something at the cheapest price possible. However, buying gifts, home goods, accessories, pots and pans, clothing? I just can't.

Less and less can we find things made in America. I walked through WalMart the other day, to see how many items I could find that were American made. Nothing I picked up was made in this country. But it's not just WalMart. It's everywhere. As a proponent of shopping locally, I've walked into small, family owned shops in an attempt to put my money where my mouth was and often times, I was saddened to see that many of the cute little things I picked up were made in China, Thailand or India. Did you know that the Fort Wayne, Indiana based Vera Bradley moved their manufacturing plant to China?* It devastated the workers in Indiana, where bags were originally made, and over 700 Americans lost their jobs. Vera Bradley said that they couldn't handle the business so they had to send it out of the country. But other businesses, like Alex and Ani, keep their businesses (and their money) in America.

Vera Bradley, made in China since 2008.

My beloved New Jersey catstudio pillow was made in India, and my Jersey Shore dish towel was made in Thailand. The pillows and towels feature countries and prized U.S. destinations, yet they are made in other countries? I'm confused.

My New Jersey catstudio pillow was made in India!

Very little is made here in America. Even Craftsman tools are now, mostly, being made overseas. On the occasion that I find something made right here in America, I feel elated. Bath and Body Works are all made in America, unless otherwise marked. If everything we bought was made in our country, our economy would turn around quickly.

I have pledged to only buy American made items. Saw a cool silicone flower that goes over your mug to keep your coffee warm, $10. The bottom was stamped Made in China so I put it down. What a difference we all could make if we only bought American made items. Try it for a few days. See how hard it is to find American made items, and how good it feels to put things down that are mass produced in other countries.

The realization that buying American is a tough job for consumers drove me to open a small online shop that sells American made items. Everything is made right here in this country. It makes me feel good to support American small business while providing consumers with quality items. Find out more. Visit my shop by clicking here: Domestic Living Comforts [American Made].

*Want a bag similar to Vera Bradley but made in America? Try Stephanie Dawn. Read more about Stephanie Dawn here.

Tiffany Palisi is the owner of Domestic Goddess Ltd., a company that specializes in hand poured, scented candles. On the side, she searches for products/recipes/ideas/shops that she loves, then shares them with her friends on this blog, and sells American made items online at Domestic Living Comforts. She resides in New Jersey with her boyfriend, their four children and two rescued dogs. She can be reached at domesticgoddessltd@aol.com. 

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