It's this time of year that I reevaluate my life. I think about what is working, what isn't, and how I want my life to look. It's not as simple as thoughts like health, success, or happiness. It's far more detailed.
What does it mean to be healthy? Happy? Successful? What do I want to see when I look in the mirror? How do I want my parenting model to look? What do I want my intimate relationship to be like?
I sit with catalogs and see what resonates with me, what feels most like the type of person I am. I think about qualities that I'd like to have in my mate (found, fulfilled), and what kind of partner I'd like to be to him. Envisioning a moment is usually enough to show me what I'm looking for, whether I have it, and what, if anything, I'd like to change.
The act of deciding what you want for your life is important. We only (technically) get one shot at this, so why do it blindly? Be pointed in what you want for your life, and make sure you follow through by striving towards it until it is attained.
I've recently done this, and I am happy to say that everything in my life is good. All of the people in my life match what I've always wanted. Friends, family, and the man in my life... all amazing. I'm at a very happy place.
But I've got to straighten some things out with myself. Having spent years dressing for others, behaving a certain way, even worrying about how I appear, it's time that I do what works for me. I've started, but still, there's more. Thankfully, I have support. I have a strong, loving acceptance present in my life that gives me the freedom to rediscover who I am and what I want for myself. With that, all things are possible.
I'm ready to bloom.