Checklist for the Pharmacy (while dreaming of summer)

As we wait for the approaching snowstorm (yes, once again), I sit here in the midst of a viral infection and find myself dreaming. Dreaming of warmer days, those when the sun doesn't set before 7 p.m. The weekly chore is mowing the lawn, and it's followed by sitting back on an Adirondack chair with an ice cold beer. Now I don't mow, but I like listening to the buzz of the mower while W is at it, because I know that when it's over, I get to sit with him while he is shirtless and sweaty. Mmmmm, my favorite.


I just stumbled upon my beach bag. It's a big red bag with overblown photos printed on it's canvas. One side has a photo of kids taken in the Outer Banks, and the other has a photo of me and W on the beach. But inside, all that's in it is a pair of my son's flip flops, and a couple of half-used bottles of sunscreen in a Ziploc bag. It's wanting for bathing suits, a camera, and some errant sand.

It gets me thinking about waking up without an alarm, not to get my son off to school but to get us to a body of water, and soak, effortlessly, in the loving rays of the sun. I think about living life in open-toe shoes and mini skirts, always smelling (somewhat) of tanning oil, and feeling warm all the time. I want to sit outside, listening to the crickets while looking up at a sky splattered with stars, and thank them for all that exists in my life. The sound of kids playing, the smell of sweet grass, the perfect color of W's tanned skin. Driving with the windows down, my hair whipping in the window and occasionally clinging to my sticky, glossy lips. There's no worrying about colds, or viruses, or infections.


Reality check. It's January in New Jersey. 


Rather than finding yourself in my position, dreaming of an escape while fighting off a virus, I advise you to keep washing your hands, taking all of your vitamins, and just in case, prepare your home for the off chance that you may end up having to ride out this nasty virus.


My least favorite task is keeping our Sick Box* up to date, but I wish that I had. While I have plenty of fever reducer, and protective caps for our ear thermometer, it would have served me well to have kept my multi-symptom cold medicine up to date. I didn't, fearing that being prepared would bring it on, and it's times like now that I wish I'd been smarter.


Here's what every family with kids should have in their Sick Box (if you believe in Western medicine, that is):

• Children's Tylenol fever reducer
• Children's Motrin fever reducer
• Children's multi-symptom cold relief
• Children's Benadryl
• Children's cough suppressant
• Easy to use/read thermometer
• Ibuprofen (for adults)
• Multi-symptom cold relief (I only like the Advil brand)
• Halls cough drops
• Benadryl
• Vicks vapor rub, or similar
• Tissues

For the kitchen, I suggest Throat Coat tea by Traditional Medicinals or Egyptian Licorice tea by Yogi Teas (great for a sore throat), Gatorade and ice pops.


W had to get me Advil multi-symptom, and ice pops, because we were out. Luckily, I had everything else in stock, though after a few days of this ridiculous virus, I am down to my last Licorice tea. I find that the tea immediately soothes my throat, which is a blessing, as there is no other relief.

Tonight, while I sit in the house listening to the boiler push water into the pipes to warm my house (bang, bang, wheeeeeeze), hearing it click on until the heat reaches 70, then sigh itself back off, I will think of these things. My son and I may be at home, sick, but in my mind, we are in the heart of summer, on the best cul-de-sac in Cedar Lake, with our three favorite people, barbecuing hamburgers and hot dogs without a care in the world.

*A Sick Box is a shoe box sized container that stores everything you may need, in the event that you or a loved one gets sick.

Show and Tell Monday (for Katy Keuter)

My dear friend Katy wrote a blog about show and tell.  I liked what she wrote, as it reminded me of show and tell days back when I was a kid going to School #5 in Oceanside. Ah, those were the days. My greatest worries were who was going to be my new best friend, and whether Bobby O'Neill (my childhood crush) would be at school each day. 


She's invited bloggers to do an online show and tell, and though I am a little late getting started, here it is.


Today for show and tell, I have brought my grandmother's ring. 

Aquamarine ring that my grandmother, Rose, wore her whole life.

This ring is gold, with two diamond encrusted loops on either side; they look like bow loops. In the center is an aquamarine stone. I received it after she died, for she never did take it off, as her knuckles grew too big. When I went to the jeweler to have it sized, and to have one of the four prongs fixed, they told me doing anything would destroy the stone. Apparently, the stone is heavily cracked; my mom says it's from all the times my grandmother reached into the back seat of the car to hit one of her girls.


I loved her dearly, and don't care so much for the value of the ring. She wore it every day, while she was cooking dinner for her family, washing dishes, and even (sadly) hitting her girls. I got a ring guard for it, and now I wear it on my ring finger.


Above it is a gold eternity ring that I got from my boyfriend, W. It looks like two bands, one thick, the other thinner, but it is one band, connected in a loop. I love the way they look together. Rings from the two adults who have given me the most love and support a girl could ever want.

I Dare You (and will even give you a little something)

Each year, during the month of February, my son's school spends a few weeks practicing random acts of kindness. I do the school's bulletin board each month with my friend Mandy, so when I spoke with the guidance counselor about next month's board, she told me that they usually incorporate Random Acts of Kindness into the board. The thought was implanted in my brain. One.

Now on the facebook page for Savannah Hope Vintage, owner Andrea DeMorest set this as her status "Pay it Forward 2011: I promise to send something handmade to the first 5 people who leave a comment here. They must in turn post this and send something they make to the first 5 people who comment on their status. *The rules are that it must be handmade by you and it must be sent to your 5 people sometime in 2011." I decided to do it, too, and now I have another great idea kicking around in my head. Two.

My current obsession, though, it what ties this all together. I am completely in love with Project PDA. I first discovered the movement through an index card that was taped to my son's elementary school door. It said "All you need is love" on the front, with the Project PDA website on the back. It motivated me to create and post my own PDA (read my initial blog post about it here). Since finding the Project PDA website (http://projectpda.wordpress.com/), I have found and posted a couple of photos. In addition, I made 100 free postcards, courtesy of VistaPrint, that say "You are awesome! (Yes, you)" and have been leaving them in beauty magazines, on tables, in the bathrooms of bars, you name it. I've even sent some to friends. Thank you to the creator of Project PDA, whoever you are. You are amazing and have given me food for thought. Three.

Which brings me to the dare. I dare you to do something for Project PDA, photograph it, and post it on their website. Leave a kind note or message somewhere, or photograph something that you see that's inspiring (called "found") and send it to myprojectpda@gmail.com. If you prefer, you can post it directly to their facebook page. When they post it, tell me and I will send you something very cool. Honest to God.

Most of us have no problem spending half the day complaining about something, whether it be our bodies, the weather, or how much something costs. Think of how great it will feel to do something nice for someone you may not even know, for absolutely no reason at all (well, perhaps for my reward:).

My friend Carol Matthew's commented that her favorite line from Wishful Drinking, is "Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." I agree, and would add that doing something nice for someone else benefits the doer as much as it benefits the recipient.

Are you in?

Family Furniture Gets A Facelift

I've had my grandparents old bedroom set in my bedroom since my grandmother passed away in 2005. My grandfather passed away first, on a cold December night in 2004, and my grandmother followed shortly thereafter the following July.


Now I am both sentimental and practical, and was also newly divorced, so taking their furniture made sense all around. After using is for years, one of the big pieces lost its front legs. They are bridged together by one long center piece, and one day while my (then) cleaning girls* were vacuuming, they bumped the foot of one side and, BOOM!, down it went.


The piece remained in my room, propped up with old books, and while I was unable to use the bottom drawer, the rest of them were still functional. Then I met Andrea DeMorest. I've written about her in past blog posts; she owns Savannah Hope Vintage. While shopping in her store one day, I casually mentioned the broken furniture to her, and she offered to fix it for me. It took me a few months to get my act together, unpack the drawers, and arrange to have it taken to her, but when I did, I took it a step further. I decided to have her paint it.


Paint vintage mahogany furniture. Yes, I said it.

A sticker that is inside one of the drawers.

The thing is that the bedside tables were already painted yellow, the finish was scratched, pieces were broken. It made sense to paint it. 


First, DeMorest painted and refinished a desk and chair that was part of the set. When I saw them repainted, I fell in love. The transformation was truly magical. Next was a smaller dresser (though still large), and now, she has the third piece in the set of five. Piece by piece it is being redone.


The furniture is manufactured by John Stuart Inc. and has been around my family for about 50 years. Apparently, when my grandparents purchased their red Cape Cod on Benjamin Road in Long Island back in the late 50s, they also bought the home owner's (Belle Angel's) furniture. The very furniture that is now in my bedroom.

A brass badge that is screwed into the side of one of the
drawers, marked John Stuart Inc. New York .  Grand Rapids

For the longest time, it smelled like my grandparents house, a mix of pipe smoke and femininity. After a while, the smell wore off, and I must admit that I've missed it. That smell held so much for me, I cannot explain. 


In the process of having the desks redone, I have found sheet of paper and old handwritten notes. I even found a pack of playing cards from Italy. It's been an amazing experience.


Tuesday, the second piece was delivered. Two guys named Tony and Pat delivered the furniture for me, and took away the next piece that's being worked on. They were so respectful of the furniture, and were quick and efficient. (If you ever need anything moved, call Tony 973-452-8794 and tell him I recommended him.) The piece went into my bedroom and I quickly set it up and moved my clothing back in. Now, it has a few photos on it, of W and my son, and a handful of keepsake boxes. But here's how it looked before I made it mine again... (taken with my cell phone - sorry about the quality)

Turns out, the furniture is worth much more money than anything I may have bought in the store. All the drawers are dovetailed, and the entire piece is made of real mahogany. Quality furniture like this is so hard to find nowadays, and the fact that it's been in the family for over 50 years makes it that much more special.


Savannah Hope Vintage is located at 418 Main Street in historic downtown Boonton. Telephone is 201-707-7447. I was there today and she has some incredible pieces in the shop; you should go check it out. And if you have anything you want redone, Savannah Hope Vintage is the place to go.


*I am proud to say that I no longer have cleaning girls. I do it myself!

The Good Parent Isn't A Friend (ah, they're back)

What does it mean to be a parent? Before my son was born, I thought that it meant parading a cute baby around in clothes from high end stores. Dressing the kids in little matching outfits so that people could tell me how cute or bright my kids are. Images of little John John in his perfect preppy outfits while summering in New England were present in my mind.


Of course, I would be the perfect parent. Rule driven, knowing when to say yes and when to say no, with a Martha Stewart house, and meatloaf on the table every Friday. Something like that.


My baby will be ten years old in less than two weeks, and he has taught me that parenthood is a journey full of lessons. Things never go as expected, and the learning curve is wide.


Last night, my very favorite television show, Parenthood, returned to the line up. It's really the only show I watch on a regular basis. That, and reruns of Seinfeld with W. If you are not watching this show, you must. I am being completely serious. It's not just entertainment, but it reminds us of our jobs as parents, and supports us when things get tough.

The episode that just ran touched on many topics. Kids drinking underage, a young man who emancipated himself and is an alcoholic in recovery, a drinking alcoholic and drug addict father. Then there was the death of a bird that presented the concept of how we teach our children about death, and what our beliefs are on the afterlife (or lack thereof); and most poignant, at least for me, is how we become our kids parents, instead of being their friends.

Joel and Julia talk to their daughter about death. (Parenthood)

Crosby, played by Dax Shepard, didn't find out he was a father until his son, Jabbar, was five years old. He'd gotten a dancer, with whom he'd had an affair, pregnant, and she chose not to tell him until that point. Jumping in was tough for Crosby, who had to accept that he was a father, learn about responsibility, and figure out how to be a dad. It was a process for him, and had been slowly progressing. Now living with Jabbar and Jabbar's mom, Jasmine, who is now his fiance (and that came about in a really honest way), he is having a hard time with discipline. At one point, she is telling their son, Jabbar, to clean his room, and the son, unsure, looks to Crosby for direction, who says something to him like, "Your mom wants you to clean your room." After Jabbar leaves the room, Jasmine talks privately to Crosby and reminds him that they are a team, and that both need to be disciplinarians, and be on the same page. Oh, and that his job is to be a parent, not a friend. A good lesson for us all.

Crosby talks to Jabbar about responsibility. (Parenthood)

Applying these lessons to everyday life aren't as easy as watching the show and changing, just like that. Or maybe it is that easy, but we need a process to do this, and constant reminders that our job is to teach our kids independence, respect, responsibility and kindness, and to allow them the space to be who they are within the confines of society.


We have a few rules in our house, and have added two new ones. The newest two: always clean up after yourself; and be respectful. The reminder is constant, and comes before a slip up may occur. My son, for example, sits down to do his homework. Homework time usually causes some degree of friction. I say, Remember, we must be respectful and kind. If I see that he is starting to get crabby, I say, Speak with respect. So far, it's worked. It's harder in big groups where the follow up is more uncomfortable to enforce (uncomfortable for others to witness, more than anything). Cleaning up has been easy. He's had a tough time with this for a long time, so I finally said, You must clean up after yourself, and that's the bottom line. No threats of punishment, just that fact. I explained that living in a home with others requires teamwork. That was enough. 


Who knew?


Parenthood is on NBC, Tuesday nights at 10 p.m. EST

Heart(s) On A String -- Updated, with photos! (1/11/11)

As I type this, I am getting tense. I can imagine the responses I will get, so let me preface this by reminding you that I am a planner.

I am a planner.

Tonight I made a banner. I am so proud. I cannot make sewn banners -- well, I probably could, but I would not be pleased with the outcome, I am sure -- but I am crafty when it comes to photographs. Thus, I made a photo and paper heart bedecked banner. Christmas and New Year's are behind us, and I've gone gleefully full force into January. W's mom's birthday was the 1st, and if you've read my blog, then you know that we celebrated yesterday. Such a great way to kick off the New Year. His sister's birthday is the 16th; my son's is the 18th. After that date, I start hanging my Valentine's Day decorations. Too soon, you say, finger wagging? I respectfully disagree.

The way that I see it, we get approximately four to six weeks to have the house decorated for any given holiday. Halloween goes up the week following my mother's birthday, so after September 18th, and comes down on November 1st. Christmas decorations go up the day after Thanksgiving and come down on or about New Year's Day. St. Patrick's Day decorations go up about a week after Valentine's Day, and then Easter decorations follow St. Patrick's Day (this year, Easter is late, April 24th, which will make for a (hopefully) nice, warm holiday). Though Mother's Day doesn't have decorations, Memorial Day does, and those American flags that go out that Memorial Day weekend, stay out all summer here at my house. Now, I do celebrate Cinco De Mayo, but I only decorate my house for a week that week; they stay up through my annual party.

It makes sense, then, that my Valentine's Day decorations should go up in mid-January.

I bought a L O V E banner on etsy, that I immediately wanted as soon as I saw it. It's well crafted and will be up in my house each Valentine's Day for years to come. I draped it from my fireplace today (January 11), a few days earlier than expected. I couldn't wait! Love is in season all year long.

My LOVE banner from Victorian Station, an etsy store.

I wanted to make another banner, too, that displayed photos of my loved ones. In past years (and perhaps in this current one, we shall see), I have used a die cut to make hearts, and put my son's photos on them, then laminate them, to send as Valentine's Day cards. I took the die cut idea, and blended it with a lovely banner concept (I have four great Christmas banners by Funky Junky Art) to make a string of hearts. This is the finished product. I am thrilled.

My paper laminated hearts on a string (twine).

Here's what I did. I photocopied a couple of pages from my very favorite book, Anthropologie of An American Girl by Hilary Thayer Hamann, made the words larger and smaller by adjusting the zoom, and printing double-sided onto red copy paper. Then I took those pages and, from them, die cut hearts. I printed squares of photos of me, W, and the kids, and also his parents and mine, and of course, the famous Julia and Paul Child's photo (I almost put the one of them in the bath, instead, but thought better of it) onto plain white paper. I cut those photos out, dabbed glue with a glue stick onto the back (so it wasn't lumpy), then put the hearts through a laminating machine.

After they were done, I cut around each laminated heart, and hole punched heart shaped holes into either side of the fattest part of the heart. I used twine to string them together, with the long piece of it against the backside. I added a couple of extra plain purple and pink hearts, just to create definition between the red ones, though the pink are only between the children's photo hearts, to punctuate their importance.

My banner from the back.

I am very happy with the way it turned out. Now, I am onto making a second one for W. I love the concept, but more that that, the hearts are covered in the most beautiful sentences, and photos of my loved ones.

Corned Beef, Cabbage and Chocolate Cake (virgin sail, with recipes)

In all of my 41 years, I had never once made corned beef and cabbage, either together or as separate meals. Until today.


My boyfriend's birthday and his mother's are within a day of each other, so we have been celebrating them together, usually on January 1st (her birthday). This year, we decided to celebrate it at my house. I am an Italian cook, but I love cooking all types of foods, and always look forward to trying new recipes. I wanted to make a meal that she would really like, and that meal just happened to be corned beef and cabbage. (What a blessing it turned out to be.)


Having never made it before, nor knowing what cooking corned beef entailed, I was a bit nervous. I looked to W for help, and he told me that his brother, Will, was a pro at making it, and that I should get the recipe from him. Will told me it was pretty easy, that you just boil the corned beef with the pickling spices. He told me what to buy and do, regarding the meat and the cabbage. He did make it sound foolproof. 


I also talked to my mother about it; she makes this meal at least once a year, on St. Patrick's Day. She walked me through the list of groceries, the what, how, and how long to cook it. We spoke a couple of times over the past two days; me asking questions, her answering them and assuring me that the meal couldn't fail. I felt ready.


The week leading up to today was a crazy one. W's birthday was this week, and we had a celebration at a restaurant for him with our closest friends. And there was New Year's Eve, and the following day which was a wash, due to a hangover that beat all hangovers. Horrible. This morning, W and I went to hang his photo exhibit, which left me just about three hours to make the corned beef and cabbage, and to bake the cake.


I stopped at the grocery store to pick up cocoa for the cake, and fresh rolls. My cart was quickly filling up, and a woman in her 70s commented, "New Year's Dinner, eh?" Being a sharer, I told her what I was doing. Immediately, she looked down the aisle and called, "Kathleen! This woman is making corned beef and cabbage for the first time." That was all that she needed to tell Kathleen, her daughter. Irish Kathleen started in with tips and tricks. After about 10 minutes talking about the meal with Kathleen and her mother, Moonie, I headed back home to get cooking.


W arrived early with the girls, and while they played, he helped ready the house, took out the garbage, and did man things. 


Well, it was a success. Everyone walked in and immediately warmed the house. The kids were running around, and everyone was telling stories from the past week, smiling, and relaxing. It was so much better than I ever could have hoped. I asked W's brother to check the meat -- I was very concerned it wouldn't be cooked enough or taste right. He walked me through it, tasted a piece of cut meat, and nodded yes with closed eyes. Good sign. I took the corned beef out, first one then the other (I made two cuts of corned beef), and Will sliced it. He showed me how to slice, but I was having quite a time with it so I left it to the pro.


I served it with the cabbage, carrots, potatoes, and bread (both rye and crusty rolls). Everyone seemed to enjoy it.


The cake was really good, as usual (see the recipe below - it doesn't require more than two bowls and a wooden spoon, and is a decadent cake), but I took it out of the bundt pan before it cooled, anticipating, with excitement, the perfect peaks of the cake. Poor judgement. A peak detached on the dump out, and the cake was a mess. Yummy, but a mess. The lesson? Always let the cake cool completely in the pan before flipping it onto the plate.




Corned Beef and Cabbage


I bought two packages of pre-seasoned corned beef, in the butcher's section of the store. Freirich's brand. (I didn't know they were pre-seasoned, so my mom suggested buying pickling spices and bundling them in cheesecloth.)


Put the raw corned beef in a big pot of boiling water, and then bring it down to a simmer (medium heat). Cook three hours, or longer. I did just over three hours but apparently it just gets more tender as it cooks. So four or five hours is good, too, just don't let it get tough.


In a separate pot, place about 16 oz. of salt-free chicken stock and then enough water to make the pot full. Bring to a boil, and add chunks of cabbage (I did two cabbages, quartered). Allow it to cook at a boil for at least 30 minutes, or until soft. I was advised to cook the potatoes and the carrots in the same pot as the cabbage, but I wasn't sure how long it would take, so I did everything separately. I did small red potatoes and cut up carrots. Easy, and very delicious.


Ultimate Chocolate Cake (modified from Lake Champlain Chocolate Co. recipe)
   Preheat oven to 350*

• 1 c unsweetened cocoa
• 3 scant c flour
• 2 1/3 c warm water
• 1 1/2 t salt
• 2 T vinegar
• 2 c sugar
• 2 t baking soda
• 1 1/4 c melted butter (2 1/2 sticks)
• 2 t pure vanilla extract
• 1 t chocolate extract

Mix dry ingredients in a large bowl. Stir wet ingredients into dry. Beat until smooth. Pour into butter and floured bundt pan. Bake at 350* for 50 minutes - 1 hour or until toothpick comes out clean. Allow to cool completely before turning cake out onto plate. Frost with confectioners sugar blended with water.