And Now That She's Gone...

Update at 7:11 p.m.: My blog was incorrect. Though my home is personally okay, W went to take photos of Denville and all of Broadway is completely underwater. They are estimating about 2' of water. Denville is like my home. All the independent shops and restaurants have so much to repair. I am concerned for all and I am so sorry for their devastation. W will be posting his photos soon. He couldn't get near town because the water is so high. Instead, he stood with people from town and shop owners, at the closest point they could get, mouths agape at the extensive damage. HOW CAN WE HELP? Check his facebook page -- Ward Vogt Designs -- for photos soon. 

After a highly anticipated hurricane that caused me to fill my bathtub with water, filter enough drinking water into glass bottles for a week, stock up on flashlights, buy shelf stable milk, coffee, everything, Hurricane Irene has passed without doing much damage here.

I am sensitive to the fact that many of my neighbors have no power, and trees have fallen on their properties. Many have been displaced due to heavy flooding, as well, and getting out of W's community took quite a while. Most of his surrounding area is flooded (though his street was fine), and getting out was only possible by way of one route. It took us 30 minutes to get to my house, instead of the usual 10.

It could have been worse. I imagined objects flying through the windows, and roof tiles ripping off. I over prepared, which isn't so bad. At least now, I know that I am good on flashlights and powdered milk, and I can drink the water I bottled over the next week.

W and I woke up to some rain and wind, went back to sleep, and when we woke for the second time, it was sunny. The wind has since picked up, and a giant tree limb landed on my trampoline. I think that today's wind is far more dangerous than yesterday's hurricane (that was downgraded to a tropical storm, and later almost downgraded to a tropical depression).

How did you weather the storm? I am curious to hear your stories.

Here are some photos that I took with my cell phone. Definitely not as bad as it could have been. Thank you, Mother Nature, for sparing us.

Morris Avenue into Cedar Lake. Closed.

Rockaway Valley closed.

A tree falls in Mountain Lakes (actually, it's one of many).

Ouch. Our trampoline net is stressed!

Super Easy Ways to Prepare for Hurricane Irene (but to do today)

I spoke to a friend today, who lives in South Carolina. She gave me some tips, and I want to share them with you. Please prepare, and if the storm passes us by, we can all have a laugh tomorrow.

Hurricanes are windy and wet, and can cause flooding, the uprooting of trees, and power lines to go down. Stay off the road during the storm, and if you have a garage, park your car inside. If not, park away from any big trees (if possible). If your garage door is electric, keep it open. Otherwise, with the power out, you won't be able to open your garage.

Move EVERYTHING off of your lawn unless it's much to heavy to move (if you can't budge it, the wind probably won't be able to either). Kids toys, flags, wind chimes, sports nets, free-standing potted plants, shovels, lawn ornaments, decor on the house that isn't bolted down, you name it. These can blow into windows and break them. If you aren't worried about yourself, at least be kind to your neighbors and put all those things away so that they don't break their windows or rip apart their lawns. 

Do not open your refrigerator if the power goes out, unless you absolutely need food inside. Opening and closing lets the cold air out. Freeze some milk, or buy powdered milk for cereal and eating.

Have food on hand that doesn't require refrigeration. Nuts, peanut butter, bread, and fresh fruit don't require refrigeration. Nutrition bars are good, protein shakes in cans, single box juices are all good options. Of course, cereal and granola are good, too, and you can use powdered milk with them, if the power goes out.

Make sure you have lots of water ready. Not just for drinking, but if your toilet won't flush, you can manually flush it by pouring water into the bowl. Fill empty jugs in the house with drinkable water, then fill all your pots, big bowls, and bathtub with water that can be scooped to force a flush, brush your teeth, etc.

Run your dishwasher NOW so that if the power goes out, you will have clean plates, glasses, and eating utensils.

If you have a fireplace, bring firewood inside or get some logs at the store. They provide light and warmth. Remember, you can also use your grill to make dinner, so keep some hot dogs and hamburgers in the fridge or freezer (if the power goes out, your food will last longer in the freezer). Marshmallows can be toasted for dessert. Keep dry wood somewhere for outdoors, as well, if you have a fire pit. Once the storm passes, lighting a fire might be enjoyable.

Keep your cell phone fully charged, your computer, your iPod, whatever. You can get updates on the news and make phone calls that way, even if the power goes out.

Keep candles and flashlights handy.

During the storm, stay away from the windows, and try to remain on the first floor. This way, if a tree does hit the house, it's less likely to land on you. :)

Most importantly, try not to worry, but instead enjoy hunkering down and staying inside.

Hurricane Irene vs. Christmas Card Preparation

While most of us on the East Coast are busy stockpiling water and flashlights, some choose to focus their time on positive productivity. Instead of thinking about the impending approach of Hurricane Irene, my friend KT is thinking ahead to holiday cards. Ah, she isn't alone (and it's another reason to love her). She mentioned to me that she ordered her holiday stamps, and I decided to copy her.

When I looked on the USPS website, I only saw last year's stamps. Hmmm... would I use last year's stamps again?

I did a little research, and the new 2011 stamps first day of issue is October 13th. There is the Holiday Baubles stamps and the Madonna of the Candelabra.

2011 Holiday Baubles stamps

The thing is, our family Christmas cards this year are very woodsy. We took our holiday photo at the Grand Cascades Lodge, a giant woodland resort nestled in the woods in Sussex County. The design of the cards embrace that feeling. I've even ordered holly stickers to seal my cards closed.

Available at Nolan3863 on etsy 

It makes sense, then, that I would use the pine cone stamps from last year on my cards. They match perfectly! So I am sticking with the 2010 stamps, and I am very excited about it.

We are literally sending out half as many cards as we did last year. We've decided only to send to friends and family who we know will be excited to get the cards and appreciate them. I keep all that people send me in a Christmas card scrapbook. It sits out all year for people to see. I love noticing how people have changed through the years.

And with this, here's a final reminder. If you want to have hand-knit stockings for your family from Nana's Knits, like the ones I had made last year, order now. Here's the blog post about our stockings.

Aloha from Hawaii!

My friend went to Hawaii and all I got was this lousy t-shirt! Not this time.

W's ex-wife and her fiance spent ten days in Hawaii this summer. Though it was a very long amount of travel time getting back to New Jersey, they packed up gifts and lugged them home. I thought that this was so sweet that I wanted to share what they got me. It's feels nice that W and I have good relationships with our exes and their spouses, and these gifts just warm the heart. They aren't just gifts; they are thoughtful gifts. I cannot stand a morning without good coffee, and my current addiction is mermaids. That's why these gifts are just perfect.

K, I'm drinking the coffee as I type this, and boy is it good. Any chance you can go back and get me some more? :)

Kauai Coffee straight from Hawaii. Yum.

Wooden, painted mermaid. When I asked K if she knew I loved mermaids,
she said, "No, but I liked it so I knew you would, too." We literally choose the same
furniture from Savannah Hope Vintage, pick up things that the other may have just
seen at a tag sale, and have found ourselves in the same sweatshirts more than once. Too funny.

Mermaid's wall placement, above a photo of W, the kids and me at the beach.
She certainly needed to be near water.

As Summer Ends (memories, souvenirs and celebrations)

Summer, the actual season, doesn't end until mid-September, but no matter how you look at it, back-to-school time signifies the end of summer. Even if you don't have kids, this seems to be the case. Just last night, while W and I were having dinner at our favorite local pub, The Second Half, we got to talking to the owner about summer's end. He mentioned that, regardless of the nice weather that may carry deep into September (and the gorgeous patio they have for their diners to enjoy), the dining vibe changes when kids go back to school. Routines change, people get busy, sports begin practice and those long, lazy meals become more rushed.

Our summer was packed with short trips all over the place. We went to Rhode Island, and spent days at my cousin Ginny's beach house at Point Judith, then travelled through Jamestown and Bristol, and ended our stay in Providence, where we experienced Waterfire.  We took the kids to Long Beach Island, and then the Grand Cascades Lodge. Our kids also went on their own adventures, mine to California, his to Vermont and Cape May. It was busy, but also quite relaxing. In each spot, I got us an ornament as a keepsake, with the exception of Grand Cascades (they didn't sell them). We took our family Christmas photo there, so I am using it to make ornaments from that adventure.

In Long Beach Island, we took our friend Mandy's advice and stayed at the Spray Beach Inn (thanks Mandy!) Our room had a view of the ocean, and the moonlight shining on the water in the evening was breathtaking. Falling asleep to a view of the moon over the ocean is a remarkable thing. At the Inn's restaurant, there was a singer who sounded so much like Frank Sinatra that we almost wanted to check and see if he wasn't lip syncing to a CD. At one point, he came to the table with his mic and asked if we were Sinatra fans. All five of us (me, W, and the kids) replied a hearty "Yes" and then he put the mic in W's face and asked him one of his favorite Sinatra songs. <crickets> None of us remembered the names of any except New York, New York and My Way. It was pretty funny, though I did feel a bit dumb. (Had he asked my favorite Peggy Lee song, we'd have been in business!) Mol and Johnny each ordered a Maine Lobster, which is a sophisticated move for nine and ten year olds. Apparently, it was enjoyable.  Johnny ate every bit, even sucking out meat from the claws. Glorious, garlic buttered sea bugs -- the kids have good taste.

We got rained on at Fantasy Island, a carnival that is permanently housed at LBI, so we went inside to seek shelter (and some fun for the kids) in the arcade. We took pictures in a photo booth, then cashed our dollars in for quarters so that the kids could play games. After losing about $20 in quarters trying to win an Angry Birds stuffed animal for W, I found that the rain had stopped, so we went outside to check out the rides and get the kids some ice cream. During that time, we happened upon a reptile show, and got to see a live cobra, a small alligator, and a 15 lb. albino python (yellow, and aptly named banana).

We spent time in the ocean, and I can personally say that I was surprised that the kids weren't afraid to go into the water, especially since they were introduced to both Jaws (twice) and Shark Week this summer. We also toured the Barnegat Lighthouse, and though I am somewhat afraid of heights, the view from the top was so marvelous, I could have stayed all day (not to mention that I was dreading the walk back down the spiral staircase). After, we had lunch at a place our friend Kathy suggested, called Kelly's. It was our last meal before leaving the island (and after hoofing it to the top of Old Barney), and sitting in the salty looking place was as summery as it gets.

A photo of our framed photo on the wall, taken in LBI. The real photo is gorgeous and clear.
My version here is muffed up between the glass's glare and my shoddy cell camera.

A few days later we went to my new favorite hotel, ever. The Grand Cascades Lodge. My God, we had a blast. They have a biosphere filled with tropical plants and surrounded by a glass ceiling and walls. It has a jacuzzi, a steam room, and a huge pool with a giant slide that we all vigorously enjoyed. There is a snack bar that serves fresh lemonade, water, snacks and alcoholic beverages. The grounds are in the woods, and the rooms and their views are incredible. We had a full kitchen in our suite, so I chose to make breakfast every day (eggs, applewood smoked bacon, Taylor ham, and pancakes), and just eat lunch and dinner out. The restaurants on the premises were beautiful, and everyone that worked there went far beyond the call of duty to make our stay amazing.

A quick view of the biosphere, taken with my Crapberry cell.

Outside the biosphere, here's one of the outdoor pools. There was another pool that had a
whirlpool in it (not pictured), and was also beautiful, but this was our favorite.

At night, we played glow-in-the-dark mini golf, and went to the marshmallow roast (my favorite outdoor event ever s'mores.

Johnny with his roasted marshmallow.

We had such a great summer together. We spent lots of time bonding with the kids, creating memories that we will treasure for a lifetime. There are moments that were so touching, and others that were absolutely hilarious. I have to remember to write them down somewhere private (W, I smell a summer photo album with words in the works...) Our time together -- both W and I alone, and the time we got to spend with our kids, as a family -- was something I had always hoped for but never imagined actually happening or being this fantastic.

Our last hurrah for summer will be this weekend. I am curating a group photography show called Saltwater and Sand, one that has beachy photography from the work of six photographers. W is in the show, and some photos from our travels this summer (including Rhode Island and LBI) will be included. It will be the perfect end to a perfect summer.

Life After Divorce

I am divorced. In fact, I've been divorced for so long that I don't identify as Divorced, so much as I identify as In A Relationship. I've been with W for so long though, that it's like we're married.

It wasn't always this way. I remember a time when my divorce was fresh. I don't remember the details of my divorce, really, but I do vividly remember the reaction that I got from others during and immediately following my divorce. What's reminded me about the responses that I got, and what has me writing about it tonight, is that so many people I know are getting divorced right now. I wanted them to know that they are not alone, that they will get through it, and have a life following their divorce.

While I won't get into the private details of my split, I will say that my husband and I separated when my son was about 3 years old. There wasn't anything horrible that caused it; the marriage just sort of crumbled. Today, my ex is married to a woman who is perfect for him, and wonderful to my son. She was made for him. Our divorce, ultimately, benefited him. It is the same for me. W and I got together shortly after our divorces, and after many years together, my son now has two sisters and I have found my soul mate.

Having said that, even the best divorces aren't easy. Friends feel that they have to choose sides (they don't) and the dividing spouses wonder who gets who in the divorce. There is property, usually, to split up, sell, or do something with. If their are children, there are custody issues to deal with, where the kids go, with who, and when.

When there is a horrible incident that caused the divorce, like cheating, or when one person wants out and the other doesn't, the pain of the divorce is much greater. Healing that pain, and dealing with all of the other basic things that life requires, can feel nearly insurmountable. I assure you, it's not. I've seen friends go through the most dreadful of circumstances and come out the other side much stronger.

I was divorced before my son was in preschool, and meeting people as a divorced mother of a four year old wasn't easy. People judged me and made comments, both to my face and behind my back. It surprised me, since divorce has become so common. But to the marrieds around me, it was like my divorce was contagious. I can tell you that I specifically remember being out with four couples one night. I was newly dating W, and they began asking us when we'd get married, talking about how great their marriages were, and how they'd never get divorced. Yuck, divorce! No way. I'd never do it! Not even if I hated my husband. Literally all four couples are now divorced. (I cannot get into detail, as I wish to protect these friends' identities, but each story is as unexpectedly disruptive as the next.) Hearing of each of their splits surprised me. Ironically, they didn't surprise W. Regardless, nobody wants to see a marriage end.

I have learned a lot in these past years. I have learned that commitment and love go hand in hand, and require tending. Communication is very important, as is honesty and trust. It's so important to talk through things, and to hang in when things get tough. Surviving really tough moments, celebrating special times, both together are what make for a strong relationship.

Expecting it to be like a RomCom, though, sets everyone up for failure. Each relationship is different and what works for you is just that; What works for you. When it's good, it feels safe and comforting, and when that happens, it's important to go the extra mile to make it work.

For now, to those of you going through divorce, just take it slow. Breathe. Allow the process to occur. The first year may surprise you. It takes you to this place where you just do things you'd never normally do. I know that my first year had me tripping from one bad choice to the next. Mistake after mistake. But I learned a lot (and thankfully, survived it all) and those mistakes helped me recognize a good thing when it fell into my lap. TW

In the Mess, I Am Loving How To Live

Since returning home from Long Beach Island (aka: Hamptons 2.0) on Tuesday night, I haven't done much in the way of cleaning. I haven't unpacked or washed any clothes (and yes, it's Thursday), though I did run the dishwasher. Instead of unpacking, I chose to go back to the gym, for the first time in God knows how many months, on Tuesday night and do a little grocery shopping. Yesterday, between appointments and some time spent away from home, I emptied the souvenir bags from our trip.

I always get an ornament, every time I go away, with which to remember the trip. I usually add the year with paint marker, if one isn't already on there. I picked this idea up from my ex-husband's cousin's ex-wife Tracy, when (on a trip to Hilton Head) she told me that she did this. It was about 15 years ago, before any of us were married, or divorced. I carefully unpacked the new ornaments and put them away for safe keeping until Christmas. Next, I looked into a bag that held contents from my favorite LBI shop in Beach Haven called, How To Live.

How To Live is the store for all things beach decor. Oh, they had this great giant upright sign reading "LOBSTER" that I would have loved for my kitchen but it was about 5' high and I just couldn't imagine getting it home in the car, packed with three kids, all the luggage, W's camera equipment and fishing pole. I did get a couple of Alex and Ani bracelets, the kids got some sea glass, and as I was browsing I saw this shark. He was sitting near the register holding something (I cannot remember what) in his mouth. He is perfect for my house for many reasons. First, I love sharks. Second, the house has lots of marine types of decor. A whale hanging from my ceiling, a mermaid in the family room. Photos of the water, taken by Ward Vogt. He just took a great one, of the beach (it's amazing), that he is making into LBI note cards, and that will also be featured in the photography show, Saltwater & Sand at The Gallery at River's Edge next weekend. The cards, and some smaller prints, will be on sale in select stores in LBI for Chowderfest and the holiday season (I will blog about them, along with the stores, in mid-September). The image is not on his facebook page or website yet. He is saving it for preview at the opening.

My shark, from How To Live in Beach Haven. He perfectly matches my granite and my decor.

Side view. Awesome.

While I was there, I also got this hanging wire basket.  I think that I will put a candle in it, but I am not sure. Maybe shells would be a better idea. Do you have any suggestions?

For candles? Shells? You tell me.

Last year, I found this store while waiting on a long line to get into Uncle Willie's Pancake House for breakfast. It's just a few doors down, and the exterior of the shop as inviting as what they have inside. Not only do they have beach decor, and wooden painted signs that have cute beachy sayings painted on them, but they have vintage items (my favorite). Last year, I got vintage corn shaped salt and pepper shakers (I collect them) and a vintage glass orange juice carafe. They have the cutest things.

If you are in LBI, check out How To Live. It's at 7 South Bay Avenue in Beach Haven.