Friday, November 8, 2013
I've been writing for years. Throughout my life, I've always openly written about what was going on, and those of you who've followed me know the ups and downs of the past few years. For the first time ever, I have no desire to go public. So I won't.
But what I will do is share very important lesson I learned. Don't settle.
After my divorce, I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I was living alone with my preschooler, and that the marriage and kids I'd dreamed of was being rerouted. My dream had always been the picket fence dream. Four kids, a dog, a loving husband. I wasn't sure how to put that to bed. I was single for a while before my first relationship. It was short lived and rocky, so six months later when I met someone who sort of fit the bill, I decided to commit to making it work. The things that I didn't like, that didn't make sense to me, that made me feel bad or unsettled, even the things that outsiders saw and pointed out to me, I overlooked. For years.
One night, while watching Married to Jonas (initially because they live a few miles away and I liked seeing local spots), I saw the way that Kevin Jonas showed love to his wife, and it hit me: I want that. More and more, I wanted it, and the things that weren't right just kept getting more wrong. Finally, the wrongness overtook the relationship and I physically couldn't do it anymore.
I left. I took five months off to find myself, and went about the act of dating once again. No one was right. Nothing fit. I thought I was being picky, or didn't deserve the kind of love I was searching for, and I really tried to settle but just couldn't. And then came DC.
DC is like no other. Immediately, we understood each other. Everything made sense. Everything felt right. Everything I'd ever wanted was there, in him. And has been ever since.
It sounds cliche, but it's true: love will come to you all on it's own, and when it comes, you'll know. No questions.