Parenthood (the t.v. show) and Sex

The NBC.com message boards are going crazy. The feedback from last night’s episode of Parenthood is overwhelming. As you all know, I am a huge fan of Parenthood. It’s rare that I look forward to watching anything on television (with the exception of Seinfeld reruns) but Parenthood has my heart. It’s a honest, gripping show that has had me from the very first episode. Last night’s show was no exception.

The show has characters who are alcoholics in recovery, who are homeless, a family who’s child has Aspberger’s syndrome, a marriage of over 40 years that is hanging on despite past infidelity. Last night, one of the main couples, married with one child, are shown struggling with trying to conceive. It begins with them in bed, in the morning, passionately kissing. He is shirtless, but under covers, and she is dressed. He wants to have sex, and she keeps telling him “two more days” and something to the effect of saving the good stuff for making a baby. In the end she sort of pushes him off her, playfully, telling him that they have to wait two more day for when she is ovulating. This story is common to couples who are trying to conceive. Two days later, she finds out that she is ovulating (while at her brother’s son’s birthday party) and they decide to take it upstairs to have sex in the bathroom. Also, not uncommon in a relationship. Her brother’s wife walks in on them and, for a split second, you see the woman’s bare legs (just from the knees-ish down) wrapped around her husband. That’s it.

A the end of the show, one of the characters, Crosby, is shown kissing a girl, and it’s very dark, but you can see she is taking his shirt off, and then he’s taking hers off. It’s very dark and the scene is barely visible. You do see their legs in the mirror as they lay down, feet intertwined. It is sexy, for sure.

Well, this has people going crazy, wondering why all the sex in this episode. Are you serious?

First off, this all happens after 10 p.m. during adult t.v. viewing time. Second, we live in a society where violence is everywhere, on television, in video games, on the news. And sex? Sex is all over marketing and television shows, way more than the teensy clips shown on Parenthood last night. The Victoria’s Secret runway show, kids’ shows like Degrassi, teen shows like Skins. And what about The Bachelor? My God! One man, and what, 20 women vying for his affection? What kind of message is that sending, America? One man, kissing, touching, dating a slew of women, then eliminating them one by one? That’s a problem to me, not the few seconds of implied sex on Parenthood.

Sex happens. It’s how we all got here in the first place. In today’s society, I am floored that people took issue with the sex in this show. Sex is a fact of life, and it’s also a very important part of relationships. Should we just completely ignore it in television shows like Parenthood that depict every other aspect of life, relationships and the ins and outs of it all?

I applaud Parenthood for keeping it real. And frankly, I wouldn’t mind seeing a little more sex on the show, either.

And Now That It's Over...

Valentine's Day is over!    

So, my house is cream colored with black shutters and red accents. Given this fact, my hearts and cupids look really pretty against the backdrop of my home, and I am kind of sad to take them down. Plus, this weekend I am organizing a homemade and hand spun winter shop to benefit the Denville K - 8 school system, so the concept of love is still sort of on the brain. The shop is called LOVE ART, and sellers are bringing homemade jewelry, accessories, baked goods, hand bound journals, vintage items, crocheted pieces, and more. (Join us!) W and I will be there, too, selling our town happy note cards. If nothing else, I am feeling the love of this sale. Technically, love is a feeling so I can sort of justify leaving the decorations up, right? I mean, for me, Valentine's Day is more about the decorating and the baking than it is about the actual holiday.

But the thing, too, is that I like the house to have a break in between holidays, and St. Patrick's Day is fast approaching. This weekend, I will be a the gallery most of the time, hanging the group art show that opens on the 26th, and setting up the tables for the winter shop, so I don't see having lots of free time to take down my decorations this weekend. Maybe this sounds trite, but for someone who needs a strong visual appeal, decorating matters.

This Friday, it is supposed to be 63* and all I am thinking about is spring. Yesterday was a teaser, at 60*, and when it gets warm like this, I want to throw open the windows, clear out the house, and dance. February's cupids don't play well with warm weather.

Until I decide, I will be thinking of the new trees that Bill LaFlesh will be planting in my backyard soon, planning outdoor workouts (yes, I am back in the swing of working out!), and getting elbow deep in spring cleaning. And now, I am off to blast Ludacris's "Stand Up" and load the dishwasher. Hehe.

Show and Tell Monday - Love Is A Chip Clip

In honor of Valentine's Day, and in the spirit of love, I made these chip clips. Hand-stamped wooden clothespins.

(Me) T + W kissing in the gazebo on the lake, chip clip attached.

Actually, I originally made them for W's sister, who is getting married soon, but thought that they were so cute that I made a bunch for myself. (And now, selling them on etsy. Spreading the love.)

I hand-stamped them, then sprayed them with an acrylic glaze so that the ink won't smudge. I love them, but not as much as T loves W.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Text, Emails, and What Matters Most

Today I read an interview of Jonathan Safran Foer, interviewer not named but on Daily Candy. This post is because of that interview. Let me explain.


I had planned on not writing today. I have tons to do. I woke up to a cold house (ran out of oil), and have to plan for and throw a class party today. In one hour, by the way. I have to also get Valentine's for my son to give to his class, since he doesn't want homemade ones anymore. And I'd like to go to the gym, and there are other things too. I won't be meeting my friend Deb for coffee after all, won't be getting my nails done. Endless morning.


I talk to my boyfriend every morning when the day begins, but when I called today, he was unavailable. 


I called my mother next, to ask if the offer still stands for me to take my grandfather's old sheet music, but once she heard that I was going to die cut it into hearts to make a year-round mobile for my bedroom (I thought it would be a nice way to honor his music, and make something pretty), she said no. She doesn't want it cut up. I'm sure it's getting far more respect sitting in a closet's corner, in a pile, collecting dust.


With all this, one of the messages in the aforementioned interview just sang. Jonathan Safran Foer says that when his Blackberry contract is up, he's getting rid of it. When the interviewer told him that it seemed really tough thing for anyone to do, he responded, "We have to do it, or else we’re totally f- - -ed. We’re going to be on our deathbeds looking back, being like, “How much time did I spend on e-mail looking up stuff I didn’t care about?” We don’t need them. We totally don’t. We only believe we do."


I get it.  I like to say that I keep my phone on me in the event that my son needs me. However, I admit that I do use it to check emails and surf the web. I find, too, that in social situations, sometimes those around me will be on their Blackberry/iPhone/Droid instead of being present in the conversation. Thus, what Foer said really struck a chord.


I know that I will not be the person trading in my Blackberry when the contract ends (do I even have a contract?) but I do like the idea of shutting down (not off, just down) when it's not necessary, and on the weekends. I still see people texting while driving, and holding their phones (so they are on speaker). Do they think that's okay? And what is so important it can't wait?


There's this mom that comes to pick her kids up at school everyday in her ginormous SUV, the biggest one they make. I'm not sure the brand, and my town is so small that identifying the vehicle might call her out, something I'm not comfortable doing. Anyhow, I get there early and read, so I get a good parking spot. She comes about 10 minutes before pick up, cannot get a spot, and just circles the front of the school. She's done this since September, and every single time she passes me, she is talking on her phone, on speaker, holding it in front of her face. We are at school. Kids are everywhere, and it is so dangerous, not to mention illegal. I see her and wonder, is she so bored that she cannot stand a minute of silence? Who does she need to talk to so badly, that she must do so while circling the school?


I guess my whole point is to slow down. Stop living through technology and start living in the world. We don't need these phones to get through the day. As an attempt to start living life more fully, and less virtually, I will not be checking my email after 3 p.m. today, and will return to the plastic tabletop box on Sunday night, to write my blog. No social networking, no emails, no online ordering, no blogs. (p.s. My spell check doesn't recognize the word "texting" -- how cool is that?)


No one needs to muddle through life via text alerts and useless emails about nothing. Ask yourself, can you spend a whole weekend free of emails and web surfing? I dare you to try.

Come On Now

It's nearly Valentine's Day. I am so excited because not only is it a day that celebrates love, but it means we are that much closer to spring.


Despite the mile high snow mounds, my dreams of fresh grass and budding tulips abound. Unfortunately, everywhere I look, I still see Christmas wreaths. Christmas! Can you believe it?


Most of the homes in my town are still decorated for Christmas. Um, Christmas is over. Long over. Let's put it this way. Christmas happened over six weeks ago. 


Someone get me a megaphone, "People, take down your Christmas decorations already."


Don't blame it on the snow. I took down my wreaths, and the endless swags of garland roped with lights all over the outside of my house, and the archway to the garden. I am a single mom who did it all myself, despite the cold. If I could do it, anyone could. There is no excuse for Christmas in February.


My windows have cupids of varying sizes floating on them, the door has glittery hearts, and there are celebratory banners in my house. It is festive, in celebration of Valentine's Day. I have seen about five or so homes in town that have put up hearts, and for those I am thankful. 


I don't know that I am urging people to put up Valentine's Day decorations, because my thought is that if you still have your Christmas decorations up, chances are that even if you do swap them for hearts, you won't be taking those down anytime soon. It's just that, when I see them in February, the Christmas decorations depress me. It's like living in the past.


After Valentine's Day is St. Patrick's Day, and then Easter. Let's give them their time in the sun, and not allow the spirit of Christmas past to outshine them.

Cheap Chip Clips (and fun, too)

I have one chip clip, a freebie from my bank. I rarely use them, so never thought to buy them and only kept this one because I thought it was a good idea. But yesterday my son needed two, and since I only had one, I decided to go get some. But the idea of buying anything that cannot be recycled or that will not biodegrade, that will end up in a pile of waste, is just something I cannot do anymore.


Bill Maher mentioned that all this snow may have something to do with global warming, and I have to agree. It can't hurt to buy sparingly and with some degree of thought.


Thinking about chip clips made me realize that they could easily (and cheaply) be purchased for under $4, for like, 40 of them. Use wooden clothespins as chip clips. Voila!


They clip the bags shut, can be decorated by painting or drawing with markers. Easy, fun, and made of wood!

Spaghetti Spoon (melted)

If only you could have been here last week. I learned a very valuable lesson the old fashioned way. While no one wants to have to touch a hot stove top in order to learn about burns, some lessons just don't sink in unless you learn them firsthand.


I was boiling pasta for my son last week, an easy enough task. The water was taking forever to get to a rolling boil, and so while I was waiting, I got started on a cleaning project. The water boiled, I added some olive oil, and then the dry pasta. I tended to it as needed, but my mind was elsewhere. Twice the water boiled over a bit (not uncommon in my kitchen), and twice I lowered the heat. In between the boiling over and the heat being lowered, I stirred the pasta with my plastic spaghetti fork. Each time, I laid the fork next to the pot.


The last time, I must have moved the pot just a tad off the heat, because the spoon somehow made it's way onto the red coils of the stove top. Not that I noticed; not at first anyway. I was just working in the kitchen when I got smacked with a sickening smell. It was so immediate and so strong that it caught me off guard. I thought I might pass out. I followed the scent to the stove, and there I found the plastic fork, melting. There was minimal, almost unnoticeable damage done to the fork, yet the smell was outstanding.


My son yelled, "Uck. Oh God Mom, what is that smell? It's so horrible. Oh Mom."


He was unable to eat. Breathing wasn't even easy. We opened all the windows in the house, despite the fact that it was about 10*F outside. The smell continued. It seemed to be getting stronger. I'd put the fork in cold water immediately and cleaned the stove top off entirely, so how could the smell still be so potent? We couldn't escape it. Finally, we both ended up in my bedroom with the door closed, as it was the least stinky space. Still, we had to open the windows and cover our noses with our sweaters. It took over an hour to rid the house of the smell, and that was with the windows open.


It was then that I knew that I would never have that experience again, at least not in my house. (I am embarrassed to say that I tend to lay my cooking utensils very close to the stove top's heat source, often causing them to burn or melt, thus my cause for concern.)  I decided to give away all of my plastic spatulas and spaghetti forks and swap them out for either metal or wood. I always prefer wood over everything else, but haven't ever seen a wooden spatula. That smell was so violent, that I just didn't want anything that could create such air pollution in my kitchen anymore. I've even replaced both my 1-cup and 2-cup plastic measuring cups. (For every type of storage, and lots of bakeware that's glass, visit Pyrex.com)


I remember hearing about the bird that died from inhaling overheated Teflon, and I've since limited my Teflon to one grill pan and one small frying pan, both of which will be replaced when my budget allows. And about ten years ago, after reading about the way that microwaves change the molecular structure of food, I got rid of mine. I am a former smoker, and there were times after I quit that I'd buy cigarettes for friends, and I felt mortified. That's exactly how I feel about buying plastic water bottles (on the occasion that I forget my Sigg). I feel embarrassed.


With each change, my cooking (and cleaning, and overall living) has gotten stronger, and I feel better about the foods that I make. Perhaps that horrible smell from my burning spaghetti fork is harmless, but I figure that if it's going to happen again, I'd rather smell burning wood.


(If I've gotten you in the mood for some spaghetti, try this mac and cheese recipe by Alton Brown.

baked macaroni and cheese

recipe by alton brown

• 1/2 pound elbow macaroni
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 3 tablespoons flour
• 1 tablespoon powdered mustard
• 3 cups milk
• 1/2 cup yellow onion, finely diced
• 1 bay leaf
• 1/2 teaspoon paprika
• 1 large egg
• 12 ounces sharp cheddar, shredded
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• Fresh black pepper

topping:

• 3 tablespoons butter
• 1 cup panko bread crumbs

directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

In a large pot of boiling, salted water cook the pasta to al dente.

While the pasta is cooking, in a separate pot, melt the butter. Whisk in the flour and mustard and keep it moving for about five minutes. Make sure it's free of lumps. Stir in the milk, onion, bay leaf, and paprika. Simmer for ten minutes and remove the bay leaf.

Temper in the egg. Stir in 3/4 of the cheese. Season with salt and pepper. Fold the macaroni into the mix and pour into a 2-quart casserole dish. Top with remaining cheese.

Melt the butter in a saute pan and toss the bread crumbs to coat. Top the macaroni with the bread crumbs. Bake for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and rest for five minutes before serving.

Remember to save leftovers for fried Macaroni and Cheese.