Family Time at the Beach, and Women Who Just Don't Know How to Behave

I am just home from Long Beach Island, and I am tired. I need to unpack and wash clothes before we pack back up for another planned vacation. But I have a story to tell that's just too funny to forget.

We stayed at a place that my friend Mandy had suggested, and it was amazing. One side is on the beach, the other (the street side) has a pool and jacuzzi. Before checking in, we went to the beach, so the kids were feeling very itchy from all the sand that was trapped in their suits. By the time we'd arrived at the hotel, the kids wanted to jump in the pool to rid their bodies of sand. I went with them, while W got our stuff out of the car and into our room (incredibly sweet of you, W).

We are not in the pool five minutes when the kids decide they want me in the jacuzzi. It was about 85* and I just wasn't feeling the hot jacuzzi. But they pleaded and made cute faces, and sure enough, I was in. There was one other mom in the jacuzzi, with her two daughters. She remarked that we must be crazy, she and I, for getting into the hot tub. She seemed lovely, even though she looked and sounded a bit like Janice from the show Friends.

A minute or two later, this lady from Bergen County, Lisa, and I were talking about where we grew up. Long Island, both of us. I thought it was nice that we both were raised somewhat near one another, and here we were, all grown up and chatting. And then she started talking about how she goes to this particular hotel every year, stays for a week, and that she and her daughters hawk handmade goods. She said that this year they brought feather clip-ons, earrings, headbands and more. I mistakenly mentioned that M was looking for a feather extension. She mentioned that they were all the rage. I asked if she had a store. "No," she said, "we just bring them in ziplock bags and walk around selling them to the waitresses and guests around the hotel.  "But", she added, "I am working with Zia someone or other, from the Housewives of New Jersey to design jewelry for them. Anywayt, we should bring them down to show you. Then, she began poking her daughter (about 9 years old), telling her to go up to the room and get her stuff. She said, "You have a potential customer here. You can make some money."

Um, can you say, balls?

I was trying to tell W what was going on without actually saying it (he was a bit far away). Then thunder rumbled, I grabbed the kids out of the pool, and ran to our rooms, explaining everything to W as we went along.

"Only you could have all this happen in five minutes," he said. Ugh, he's right.

The rest of our vacation was wonderful, though when I did run into her again, she attempted to start the conversation over, and pointed out the feathers that were in her hair. I quickly hustled past her, and that was the end of it.

She did, at some point, want to have dinner with us. Unbelievable. I almost lost my mind.

The point of this story is that while, at times, people look for other families to meet on vacation, and forge friendships. If this is true for you, enjoy yourself. Please realize, though, that some of us really want to spend time with our family, just our family, alone.

Lovin' Landscaping

I've been itching to garden. It's odd, because I've been planting all summer so you'd think I'd be tired by now. I ripped out most of my immediate front yard landscape and replaced it with evergreens and bushes. In my backyard, I planted a bunch of ferns (though the spores are wonderfully increasing my fern garden on their own), Montauk Daisies, and Black Eyed Susans that I got in Rhode Island last month. I also planted Bee Balm, picked up at the Mountain Lakes plant sale this spring, and a few pink hydrangea.

I have a few more daisies to plant, but I am basically out of space here. Since I kinda have two homes, I get to do double the gardening. Such a treat. I began with a small garden in a spot in W's backyard, which is part shade. I planted a bunch of hostas, ivy, a hydrangea, and some small ground cover that has the most beautiful red blooms. Then, I filled the window box on the shed with coleus and hanging vines. I love it. Every time I look out the kitchen window, I see the garden. It makes me so happy, every single time I see it. Next, I started adding plants here and there around the front of his house (deer had done quiet a job on the plants that were there, so there was some room for new plants), begging him to let me plant a few things at a time, and was thrilled that he actually liked what I did. Thank you, honey.

And now, he is letting me run with it. Thank you again, honey.

I started with the Juniper shrubs, that will grow up to about 4' each. They are currently so small, though, that I needed something more. I wanted something that could tolerate a lot of sun, were fairly drought tolerant, and would blend well with the juniper. First, I got a some lavender - the colors are perfect and it smells so nice. Then, I got some ornamental grasses, some hardy English Ivy, and tickweed for it's beautiful, endless yellow blooms.

Not the best photo (damn Blackberry camera) but oh, how I love this landscape.

I am so happy. This planting, done this afternoon while the kids were playing, made my whole day. I feel so accomplished, and am so happy that W likes the way it turned out. I am going to continue around the front of the yard, and I've never been more excited.

Just Because It's Summer Doesn't Mean...

Though we are in the throes of summer's endless days, preparing to take our last few family trips, and to stay outside enjoying what's left of the 8p.m. sunset -- something W and I got to do tonight at K+P's house tonight, which was such a nice surprise (thank you!) -- I find myself planning for the coming months. (Reminder for those who told me last year that they wanted custom hand-knit stockings (click here to see blog post "Oh, to Fill Those Stockings") -- order now!)

Here's why: I love celebrating the fall. While my all-time favorite season is summer, I also look forward to the time when summer meets fall, when nights are chilly but not cold, when sitting outside and lighting a fire in the fire pit is a really good thing to do. I love leaving the house in a sweater or sweatshirt and jeans, and feeling a Goldilocks jusssst right comfort. I light a fire in my fireplace nearly every night before bed. My chimney cleaning company loves me.

Currently, I am planning a party here in mid-October, and since I like everything at the party to be as custom and handmade as possible, I went to etsy to search for things to use to get the party it's perfect vibe. The party is a campfire party, with a tug-of-war, three legged race, and potato sack race. It's an all ages party, too, which is cool. I love when the kids and the adults all get to spend time together. After the races (fun prizes will be awarded), we will make s'mores by the fire, sit in a circle, and tell ghost stories.

I was thankful to quickly find invitations for the party from the Ampers & Ink etsy store. I also just went to the site to test the link and saw these awesome "Give Them S'mores" party favor bags, with which to stuff the makings for s'mores. Ordered them, too. God, I love etsy.

While I love and use evite all the time,
nothing beats a genuine paper invitation.

It's not just the party that's got me thinking about fall. I am currently writing an article on Halloween here in the Village, a part of Mountain Lakes that is shut down to traffic and welcomes upwards of 700 trick or treaters on foot. It's quite a sight. People from town donate candy in predetermined locations, which are then shared with homes in the Village. I end up with about 20 big bags of candy, all of which are gone by the 8 p.m. treaters curfew.

In past years on Halloween night, I used to make Cuban sandwiches with a sandwich press for any adult who asked for one. I also had tomato, basil, and mozzarella sandwiches, also pressed. This left me endlessly working, which didn't allow me to enjoy the holiday with my son. Both my son's grandmother's came to help, and I was thankful for that. But after a few years, I cut it back to bagels for the kids and crock pot chili for the adults. This year, I'm scaling back a bit more, but in a really fun way.

While I will still have the chili for friends who stop by, I'm discontinuing a food table. However, I decided to give my son's classmates and friends little tickets ahead of time. Each ticket will be exchanged, on Halloween, for a special goody bag. The bags will have different fun things in each, rubber eyeballs, spider rings, and more. But where could I find special tickets? I didn't want generic 50/50 tickets. I went back to etsy, and look what I found? This shop, Just A Bit of Paper, made me a custom listing with enough for all of my son's friends. The minute I found them, I got excited. No one loves Halloween more than me, except maybe for my friend Francine, so this find was like hitting the jackpot.

The Halloween tickets. Don't you just love them?

The Just A Bit of Paper shopkeeper also sent me a sneak peek of a Christmas tag she's making, one that I am sure will be gracing my boxes of baked treats for family and friends.

Cute vintagey Christmas tags, also by Just A Bit of Paper

Have any great ghost stories that I can share around the campfire? If so, please share them with me. I'm looking forward to telling the one about the man with the golden arm. Just scary enough, if I tell it right, that is?

Building A House (or at least a bit of it)

I recently had W take a photo of the front of my house, so that I will always remember how it looks now, before my addition. I am excited to say that I am putting an addition on my son's room so that he will have full, straight walls, more windows, and generally more space. W is a professional photographer -- our company is Ward Vogt Designs -- and part of the business is taking photographs of homes for people who are moving, then matting and framing them so that the seller can take their first house with them (he also makes "We've Moved" cards with a photo of the new house on them, but I am getting off topic here).

This is a photo of my house before the addition. Ward popped the colors,
then he printed it for me on canvas so that I will always have a photo of my house
as it was before it goes under construction. 

This is the original photo of the house. Compare this to the above photo,
that Ward popped. This photo is nothing. The one above it is magical! Isn't he awesome?

The past few months, I've been busy trying to get an addition started. First, I made an attempt to use an architect neighbor of mine to do the drawings, but if you've been reading my blog, you know how that went down. It wasn't pretty. It was imperative that I find another architect, as soon as possible. Instead of asking around locally, I enlisted the advice of my brother, who had recently put an entire wing on his Upper Montclair home. He suggested the name of an architect, and though he's about 40 minutes away, I liked him and had him do the drawings.

I had five contractors bid on the job. One, who did a wonderful job on a friend's home and came highly recommended, came out to look at the space, took a copy of the drawings, and disappeared. It's been nearly a month and I haven't heard a word from him. I called to get the drawings back last week but still, never heard. Another contractor sent me a bid, interestingly not itemized, for $52,000, which is double what the job should be. It's been said that he bids high but $52k is ridiculous. After I laughed and asked him to return the drawings, he said he messed up and it was only supposed to be $25,000. Sure. Even if, in fact, he was telling the truth, starting off by overbidding by $25,000 is a pretty big mistake and leaves me lacking faith.

There was a really nice local guy who came in with literally 150 phone numbers for recommendations, and his bid was very low. $19,000. This low number had me wondering what he was missing, or what he would be adding on later. Still, I liked him and may have used him, but he would be away for a few weeks in August and I needed permits applied for and didn't want to wait. In addition, word on the street is that he is slow, and that his jobs can be stopped for days at a time. That won't work for me.

I did end up going with a super contractor, one who gives me confidence that the job is getting done. Gary Goldsmith walked into my house to bid on the job, on a rainy summer afternoon. Not a quick summer drizzle, but a downpour. My son was in California at the time, and I was missing him terribly and feeling down. Gary came in with a smile, looked at the drawings, then the actual room (or vice versa, I cannot really remember), and said, "This is no problem." And that was that. I loved him from the minute that he walked in the door.

We tried to apply for permits last week, but as Gary expected, we needed my survey and two sealed FARs. My architect, who had my only sealed survey, had done the measurements for the FAR, didn't think we needed them so he never sent them. And he was away on vacation with no one in his office. Luckily, my closing lawyer had a copy of my survey and she kindly faxed it to my contractor. We did what we could regarding measurements for the FAR, which didn't get us very far (no pun intended). and then on Monday, had the FAR from my architect emailed to me. I have requested that he send me two sealed copies along with my original sealed survey. Hopefully, he's gotten them out to me. We also needed surveys of the neighbors' (the nearest to my left and right) homes. I had one, from work I'd done six years ago, but the other neighbor cannot locate his survey.  Alas, I am having a survey done of my neighbor's house.

This sets the job back a week, because the town zoning officer is only in town on Monday. I am beginning to understand why any addition, small or large, can be stressful. I have full faith in my contractor, however, which relieves most of my stress. As long as the house is closed up by Halloween, I'll be happy.

Salty Chocolate!

I am not a chocolate fan, per se. Give me a bag of Doritos, or a steak, a salt pretzel, anything savory or salty makes me happy.

However, while I was out hanging posters for the Saltwater & Sand opening reception, I stopped into my new local favorite, A Dash of Thyme. While there, I picked up more of those goat's milk caramels, except this time, I got vanilla caramel as opposed to chocolate. I think I prefer the vanilla, though I've only had one so far. The jury is still out, and a side by side taste test is in order. I also got a gourmet candy bar by B.T. McElrath that has toffee and sea salt in it.  (Got some "OMG chipotle sauce", as well, but won't wax poetic about it since this story is about sweet meeting savory.)

Another package of Happy Goat handmade caramels (how could I not?)
and the B.T. McElrath candy bar that will steal your heart. Both from A Dash of Thyme.

So basically, it's the best of both worlds. Goat's milk and caramel in one. Chocolate and sea salt in the other. I mean, really. Half of the B.T. McElrath bar is already gone and I seriously suggest you try one for yourself. There is just enough toffee and sea salt in it to keep you hanging on, wanting to break off just one more square. The bar has a gourmet price, and I assure you, it's worth every penny.

I am so obsessed with food; I even read about it. I am currently reading Blood, Bones, and Butter, which is the story of how a chef came to be, starting by working out of necessity (bussing tables) at the age of 13. Reading only fuels my desire to cook, and it deepens my appreciation for quality ingredients and foods.

Notice our Providence Biltmore check out slip as my bookmark.
I love using stuff to mark my pages. No formal bookmark needed.

Tonight, I met W for a bite to eat at our favorite local pub, The Second Half. I met him at the bar and there I sat, spilling out a day's worth of stories to him, while drinking a Corona Light from the bottle and eating my usual meal, two grilled chicken breasts over rice. Sitting at the bar with him, with our friends (who also happened to be there) in close proximity, I felt my body relax. It's amazing how food and good company can completely transform me into a peaceful state.

Send me your favorite food item, recipe, or shop. I am always looking for new places to try, and new edibles.

Teach A Man To Fish... (and to cook: recipes wanted)

Read to the end to enter a contest.

I am a big believer in being self-sufficient. Though most of my life I hadn't swept a floor or hammered a nail, there comes a time where doing those things aren't options, they're necessities. I've learned that most of the time, it's easier to do something yourself than to wait and have someone do it else for you. And it's never as hard as it appears to be.

Now, I don't sew; my sister-in-law Colleen sewed me pillows, my tailor hems my skirts. I'm also not great at building things from scratch. I can, however, put together "easy to assemble" furniture, drill holes with my drill, screw things into the wall, bake, paint and clean. I'm also pretty darn happy whipping up a meal for my family.

When my son was young, he used to watch the Food Network with me, and got really into Emeril Lagasse. He loved him so much that he always wanted to cook. We would make dough, beginning with a yeast packet, and from the dough, make pizza. He helped me make basic blueberry muffins on a weekly basis. Eventually, though, his desire to learn to cook waned, and his deepest kitchen desire was to have a taste of cookie dough.

Lately, though, E has gotten very interested in cooking. She has helped me make many a meal, including garlic chicken breasts with Jasmati rice. She has made garlic bread with melted mozzarella, and she's also made pasta. Learning to get water to a rolling boil, add salt and later, oil, and how to take the top off the pot without getting a steam burn is an important skill.

I've offered to start the kids a recipe box, writing down all of the recipes that they've made. This way, they can see all that they've done, refer back to the recipe cards if they forget, and learn to cook. I am hoping that E's enthusiasm will motivate M to want to cook, and bring JH back to his culinary roots.

After the most recent meal E made, she was so excited that she sat down after plating all of our food and said, "I want to learn to be a good cook so that I can cook meals for my kids and my husband." I mentioned that being able to cook is also good because it allows you to cook healthy meals for yourself, and to know every single thing that goes into the meal. Needless to say, I was thrilled at her new found desire to cook.

I am looking for new, easy recipes to teach the kids. I am thinking baked macaroni and cheese, beginning with a roux, will be fun, and maybe a meatloaf. I would love your ideas and recipes.

CONTEST: Send me your favorite recipe. The one that the kids first choose to cook will win and a prize which will be awarded to the person who submitted said recipe. All entrants must be fb fans of the fb page The Domestic Goddess Files. Mail to: The Domestic Goddess, PO Box 243, Mountain Lakes, NJ 07046

Getting Away to Rhode Island, and A Cool Vintage Find

Every year my cousin, Ginny, and her husband, Bob, are kind enough to let W and I stay in their beach house in Point Judith, Rhode Island. It's a place that has been in her family for years, and my grandparents had visited it while they were alive. My mother visited as a child. It's got a lot of history and being there makes me feel like home. It's also become W and my summer trip, just the two of us. It's something that I look forward to all year long. (I love you, W.)

Over the years, W and I have started our own Rhode Island traditions. We stop on the way in to the local package shop, Schwabby's, to get some 'Gansetts (Narragansett beer) for our stay. We have daily breakfast at a place called Crazy Burger, our favorite food spot on the island. And somehow, every time we go for dinner at Turtle Soup, the wait is too long and so we eat at the bar. 

My egg white, spinach, goat cheese, and
serrano pepper omelet, with home fries, from Crazy Burger.

This year, our trip fell during the weekend of the Blessing of the Fleet and the 10 mile race that began the night before. Roads were closed, the town was packed, and there was a carnival at the nearby Towers. We worked our way from Point Judith up through Jamestown (oh, lovely!) and then onto Bristol, where W went to college. The town was amazing. We visited W's school, and I got to see the rooms where he spent most of his time hard at work. We even passed the house that he'd lived in. It was an honor to re-experience his college years with him all these years later.

As we drove through town, I noticed a cute vintage shop, and I had to stop in. My hope was that I would find something amazing to take home, from which I would remember the trip. The shop, Robin Jenkins Antiques, was adorable, and since it was in Bristol, it had tons of beach type things. I bought an old wooden box that says "Father John" which is perfect, since my son's name is John. I also found this banner type flag with a killer whale on it. I loved it, and I knew that if I didn't get it right then, I'd always wish I had. It matches my red Savannah Hope Vintage table so well.

The flag, hand made, with the killer whale on both sides.

Check out the detail on the whale.

The flag is stamped, "Ebenezer Flagg. Made by hand. Newport, R.I."

Our trip ended in Providence, and we got to experience Waterfire. It was very serene and beautiful, and it was a wonderful way to finish our trip. If you've never been to Rhode Island, you need to go for a visit, and if you have, well, then you know exactly what I'm talking about.