Monday, March 7, 2011

Safe Place to Fall

Monogamy is a good thing. It is comforting and consistent, a shared routine that is created by two people. We create grooves and treads along our path, and ride through them over and over again. We know where to bend, and where to steer straight. Sometimes, though, after being in a relationship for a long time, we take our love and our partners for granted. While this isn't a good thing, it happens all too often. We forget to give TLC to our relationships, and before you know it, there is this strain that starts to give way under pressure, and then, CRACK. Things start to break apart.

I have been married and divorced, and I can say with confidence that have learned a lot. While I won't discuss what occurred in the privacy of my marriage, I will say that I know how easily things slip away. For us, it was for the best. My ex-husband is happily remarried; I am with a wonderful man, the person that I was born to be with. I believe this with my whole heart. After being with him for over four years, I am committed to keeping our relationship solid, and showing appreciation for all that we have together. He is, too, and that's why it works so well.

Life is busy. We are running errands, taking care of our kids, chauffeuring them to and from their after school activities. We have work, housekeeping, and meals to cook. It's easy to get lost in the shuffle. But if we do, we risk waking up and wondering who our better half actually is. If we choose to let go of the depth and communication that exists in our relationships, then we cannot expect to stay connected through the roller coaster of life. The empty nest syndrome might not come if we choose to value our relationships with our spouses/significant others, and tend to them consistently.

Think about your relationship. Do you make the choice to take good care of it, even when it isn't easy? I recently read a quote that said something to the effect of, the grass is greener on the other side of the fence because it gets watered. Relationships are not stagnant; they are growing and changing, and need to be cared for. The ways in which we do that vary from relationship to relationship, and are as unique as the individuals that are in them.

My relationship with my boyfriend is deeper and more complex than any relationship I have ever had. It's as complete, in my opinion, as any marriage could be. Valuing what we have, and committing to working through it all, is a comforting feeling. It feels like home.


  1. Tiffany another great post! It does take work, I don't mean "work" in a bad way it can be joyful work, to give a good relationship what it deserves.

  2. It's not easy. It's definitely worth it.