I am comforted, following my last blog post, by how many messages I got from you all asking if I am okay. I haven't gotten many responses on the actual blog page, so I wasn't even sure who was reading it anymore. While I would love to respond to you all personally, I am pinched for time, so please accept this as my response.
I am fine. I am. The past six months have been rough, as you may know, and I am attempting to recover from them. They've been physically (my ear, Shingles, vertigo), emotionally, and socially challenging. Every aspect of my life has challenged me at some point over this time and while I am slowly bouncing back, each experience that dug in created scars, and they're taking a while to heal. I am not tough, I get hurt easily. When I feel betrayed, that experience doesn't just go away. It may seem like a negative, but that same sensitivity is what makes me a caring parent and friend, and helps me to empathize with others who are in need. Understand that my healing time is slow but progressive.
Sorting through it all has forced me to question what and who matters, and I need some time to think about all that, without the help or advice of others. I've read that you have to want what you have, instead of wanting what you don't have. It's taken me 41 years to realize that that's the quickest way to happiness, or at least to a place of contentment.
This online community, however virtual it may be, has been amazingly supportive and caring. Thank you all for your email messages! I've had two invites for visits, both, ironically, to SoCal to relax and breathe, and take some yoga classes. Last night, I told my son I might head to Venice to visit friends during the week that he is away. His response, "Mom! You can't come to California when I'm there!" Like he'd ever know.