Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Throw the Baby Out With the Bath Water (please, please do)

Fat Tuesday was fairly uneventful for me. I had a meeting for work today, which was insightful and a good step for me professionally. Afterward, I picked my son up from school and took him for beignets at the Mountain Lakes Market. While I had planned on making my King Baby cake, the effort seemed pointless since my son didn't want to taste it, and there wasn't anyone else around to share it with. Who, pray tell, would get the baby? I like these little holidays (Mardi Gras, Cinco de Mayo), but having no one to celebrate them with kind of sucks.

I took my son to his dad's house to feed his dog and to let him out in the backyard (his dad and step mom were at a concert). While he visited the dog, I sat in my car writing recipes onto cards for my boyfriend's sister's bridal shower. Afterward, we went grocery shopping and got a bite to eat in town. Not much for celebrating Fat Tuesday, but we did laugh a lot, which was fun.

I had planned on making chocolate peanut butter balls during the time I'd allotted for baking the King cake, but was told that the dinner for which peanut butter balls are dessert might not be happening, so making them just in case  isn't really worth it. I would just end up eating all the balls (go ahead, laugh) and, after losing 7 lbs. (and counting), I won't dare tempt myself. Of all that I cannot control in my life, my body (fitness/nutrition at least) is the one thing that I can control.

There are other things that have happened in my life recently, causing me to become, I am ashamed to say, jaded. Things that make me wonder why I do the things that I do. If I am doing them for the sake of others, they've gone unappreciated. If I've done them for my own sake, which perhaps I have, well then the pay off just isn't there like it used to be. Doing nice things for others used to make me feel good. Some things, like baking for the women who work in the school's front office, still make me happy. Decorating the school's bulletin board, and having the kids come by asking what's up next, that's nice, too. However, when I go out of my way to do things that I think are really thoughtful and they go unnoticed, it's disheartening.

Growing up, my mom used to do themed dinners, complete with music and decorations. At some point, she gave up and gave in, but it must have been months before we noticed she'd thrown in the towel. Now, she rarely bakes or has parties, and I always thought that it was sad. But now I am starting to get it. While I wish that I didn't feel this way, you know, being the domestic goddess and all, I have to admit that I do. Both the 'domestic' and the 'goddess' parts have gone unappreciated for far too long, and frankly, I am starting not to care. I am sure that this stage will pass, at least I am hopeful that it will. Since I am so open about all of the positive up moments, I thought it only fair to be equally open about the moments that I feel defeated.

That there are times when throwing the baby out with the bath water isn't such a bad thing. It is a clean sweep for sure. Maybe some good goes "out" with the bad, but sometimes it's better to miss what you've given up rather than to wonder why you haven't let go.


  1. Amen, sister! Drinks soon.

  2. Hope that baby bounces. It's goonna be a long fall.

  3. I feel that way all the time! Then I swear I will quit going out if my way and busting my ass for others, but I always end up doing it again. Sometimes it makes me feel good and other times it pisses me off.
    xo Paula

  4. I get that, Paula. I just said that I feel like a stray dog that keeps getting kicked around. I do everyhing that I can for everyone, and it just goes so unappreciated. Its time, I think, to put ourselves first, or at least try to do so. Love you girl!

  5. You are most certainly a goddess, that's for sure. Don't ever lose that part of your title.

  6. be a feminist. burn your bra. you are adorable, whoever you are.

  7. I totally feel you on this, too. Being unappreciated is one of the worst feelings in the world. Very disappointing. And it never has a good outcome because you LIKED doing those things for other people, so giving them up leaves kind of an empty feeling inside. If it makes you feel any better, I would have tried your king cake! :o)
    Debbie Z. (from facebook Files)

  8. I totally appreciate you! I feel bad...did I not show you appreciation for all that you have done for me. If I haven't....EVERYONE PLEEEASE pay attention here......Tiffany is one of the most selfless people I know, In fact "when I grow up" I wanna be just like her! She gives and never expects ANYTHING in return...no disclaimer for her generosity...it comes from her heart. I think Shes THE BOMB! and bea u ti ful too. Thank You Tiffany for all that you do....the noise makers, the press releases, the business, and tha all around good karma that you bring into my world. We ALL need more Tiffanys!

  9. Oh you, ADeM, of course you are always so thankful. This post had NOTHING to do with you. You are amazing! Truly...