Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Would You Forgive? (oh Crosby)

The blog on my MoMA mishap has been bumped to a Friday posting. I had to do it. I mean, did you see Parenthood?

From now on, Wednesday's blog posts will now be follow-ups to Parenthood Tuesdays. I mean, they have to be. Every week, so much happens on the show that I want to discuss. But before we go any further, can I please be a Braverman?

Tonight's show was an explosion of emotion, as always. Amber showing raw emotion after her deadbeat dad comes back, stealing her brother away from her, crow barring his way back into the family, trying to get into her life. He's let her down time and again, for years. I cannot imagine the hurt that she must feel, but I know that getting burned over and over again will cause you to keep away from the flames. (And when he said his goodbyes, I forgave him, and prayed that his character would return permanently.)

I have to discuss, though, the most heart-pounding story line for me this week, which was the one that occurred between Crosby, Gaby, and Jasmine. At the start of the series, Crosby was a somewhat irresponsible, fly by the seat of his pants kind of guy . His doorbell rings and before him stands a woman with whom he had a short-lived sexual relationship five years prior. And their son. WHAM! Like that, he finds out that he has a five year old son named Jabbar.

In the following months, he learned what it meant to be a father, to be responsible, and in the process started dating his baby mama, Jasmine, and they fell in love. Keeping up with me? (Watch the show!) Okay, so things progress, he proposes (unplanned), doubts his own proposal and his readiness to get married, but with intense assurance from his family, he keeps moving on. While planning the wedding and raising their son, Jasmine takes the reins. She comes off as controlling. Crosby struggles with her overbearing behavior and the way that she sort of ignores the fact that he has a say in things. Finally he explodes. They have a huge fight, he splits for the night, and after they've both cooled down, they decide to take a break.

After a day or two (?), Crosby begs Jasmine to talk things through with him, to patch things up. She is adamantly against this, and tells him that they should take some time to figure out if getting married is really the best thing for everyone. He tells her he's scared. She says she's scared too.

Hurt and feeling lost, Crosby finds solace in his nephew's behaviorist, Gaby. He sees her kindness and her soft side, the things that he's been missing in his relationship with Jasmine. One thing leads to another and ultimately he sleeps with Gaby (which is pretty hot, by the way).

Was he wrong? Jasmine suddenly comes to her senses and realizes that she wants to work on the relationship, but now Crosby has to fess up about his sleeping with someone else. And when he does, she is shocked. She swears that she will never forgive him. 

I don't know if I would forgive him. I don't know if he should want her to, either. I mean, why pursue a relationship that hasn't worked anyhow (or has it)? I think that if I pushed and pushed my boyfriend away, and we took some time to figure things out, well, I'd be miserable if I found out he'd slept with someone else. But if he apologized, as Crosby did, and wanted to make things work, I think I'd be thankful. When you make a choice to take time apart and figure things out, its like walking a tightrope without a net. To know that the processing part involved sex outside the relationship is horrible, but the fact that he realized what he was losing and wanted to fix it seemed like a good thing. I mean at least that's what I think.

I have never been one to forgive infidelity. Never. But in this case I felt that they were broken up, and that his infidelity helped him to realize what he was throwing away. Am I wrong here, really wrong? I don't know, but I am dying to hear what you think. Please comment.


  1. I woud NOT forgive him. I love the show, and Dax Shepp.

  2. Love Amber - Love Sydney!!!

    I would never forgive Crosby - they are finished.

  3. Wow I can't not wait to see these episodes!!! I would forgive him I think, yes it sounds like she wanted a break and they took a break…what happens during this break happens…I think that sleeping with someone else can mean nothing…I know this sounds bad but loving someone and sleeping with someone can sometimes be two different things, even though one would hope that you do enter into relationship with love this is what makes it truly meaningful and worthwhile.

  4. Interesting article in the NY Times today, which works well with this post. Read it here:

    "One safe way for both men and women to stay in a relationship is to avoid even looking at tempting alternatives... (yet) too much “mate-guarding” can get in the way of “relationship maintenance"... Left to their own devices, conscious or unconscious, they might just manage to restrain themselves."

  5. Anon, I think they are finished. I think Jasmine is over it, and didn't I just read that Minka Kelly is "Crosby's new love interest"? I can't wait to see how this plays out, but I sure will miss Joy Bryant. I LOOOOOVE HER!

  6. wow! I never saw this show, but always read this all sounds very complicated and emotional, kinda like MY life.....maybe I can learn something...

  7. if you are the four floor stair climber, then i assure you, you will LOVE this show.

  8. Jasmine and Crosby are not just puppy loves they share a son and are engaged! The 1st real fight they have and with in days he sleeps with another. NOPE not OK in my book. If he would go there that quick obviously his full heart is not with Jasmine or he's simply not the nice guy we all want him to be. I'm hoping for the first of those 2 scenarios and it's just that Jasmine is not the right one and he is trying to force her to be for the sake of his son.

    I feel awful awful awful about this causing Gabby to leave her job. Having an autistic nephew and niece myself I know first hand how important their therapists are. It takes so much time to find the right fit, not to mention what it takes for the family and child to build trust with this person. That made me very sad :o( Hope she comes back!

  9. They were on a short thinking break, not a free-to-date-sleep-around break. Also, his actions were described as cheating afterwards. I would forgive him because it was an ONS and because he seems genuinely remorseful and still in love with Jasmine. However, they both need to get to the root of why it happened.